It is with great sadness that the Blimp family announces the passing of Baby Trump. The well-travelled balloon was fatally stabbed this Saturday during a rally in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, just prior to the much-anticipated Alabama-LSU football game. Baby Trump will be lovingly remembered by his supporters and handlers for a life of public service cut short by a crazed slasher who authorities have charged with first-degree criminal mischief.

Funeral services in memory of Baby Trump have yet to be announced by the grieving Blimps. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that all concerned citizens vote blue across the board in the upcoming elections.

Photo | Stephanie Taylor/Tuscaloosa News/AP