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No, God Is Not Punishing Us With Coronavirus Because Of Gay Marriage

March 19, 2020 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Now that we are in the midst of an alarming pandemic, many are wondering why God would do this to us … why now? We’ve been good, haven’t we?

Yes, there were times in the past when we deserved divine retribution. Floods, plagues and the deaths of our firstborn were ways by which God punished us for our evil ways.

Now, according to some men of the cloth, God is punishing us with the coronavirus because of gay marriage … and abortion rights.

Tennessee preacher Perry Stone suggested that the spread of the coronavirus was a response to the legalization of the “abomination” of equal marriage and abortion.

“So why is there a reckoning? I’m gonna explain it in these simple terms. There’s a reckoning because the courts of the land passed a law to take an infant’s life… and for marriage, that we have known it, to be changed into something we’ve never known,” said Stone.

I am not a preacher nor claim to be a religious scholar, but I’m suggesting God is punishing us with this vicious virus because we had the audacity to elect Donald Trump president.

I think the Lord became doubly upset when 52 Republican senators refused to do their sworn Constitutional duty and remove Trump from office.

Has there ever been a leader, like Trump, who is the walking embodiment of the seven deadly sins … pride, envy, gluttony, greed, lust, sloth, and wrath?

God is probably also ticked off that so many of his children are worshipping at the feet of Donald J. Trump. Have they forgotten their Ten Commandments? Specifically, God’s first commandment, “You shall have no other gods before Me”?

I fear we will not get over this fast-moving pandemic until the false idol, Trump, is removed from office. Until we are back to God’s good graces, I do not see an end to the needless suffering and death.

I must confess I attended religious instruction, religiously, as a youngster. So, I know a thing or two about how vindictive God can be.

Photo | abcnews.go.com

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: abortion, Donald Trump, false idol, gay marriage, God, punishment, seven deadly sins, Ten Commandments

Putin Thanks Huckabee Sanders For Compliment

January 31, 2019 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

Russian leader, Vladimir Putin, lauds White House Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, for once telling the truth.

Photos| news.sky.com, politics.theonion.com

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Donald Trump, God, God wanted Trump, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, satire, Vladimir Putin

Michele … Don’t Ask God If You Should Run For Senate, Ask Nate Silver

January 4, 2018 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Former Congresswoman, Michele Bachmann, is contemplating running for Al Franken’s soon-to-be-vacated Senate seat in Minnesota.

Bachmann, who represented Minnesota’s 6th Congressional District for eight years, said in an interview on “The Jim Bakker Show” that people had urged her to run in 2018. She also said she is asking God if she should enter the race.

Bad idea, Michele. No, not entering the Senate race but asking God if you should run.

Let’s face it, God has a poor record of picking winners.

Do you remember all those presidential candidates in 2016 that stated God had asked them to run? Let me remind you.

You had Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum, of course. But you also had Scott Walker, Ben Carson and Rick Perry who admitted God wanted them to run. You even had Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, John Kasich and Rand Paul alluding to God in their campaign announcements.

It seems as if the only 2016 presidential candidate who did not claim God asked him to run was Donald Trump. OK, he did say the Bible is his favorite book!

The thing is this, Michele. Either God is a poor picker of winners or he has a wicked sense of humor. Whichever it is, don’t bother asking God for his blessing.

Ask Nate Silver of FiveThirtyEight.com.

Nate is great at predicting political winners and losers because he uses math and statistics. Yes, he’s a lot more scientific than the Almighty.

Okay, okay, what about Mike Pence you ask. Didn’t he say running for vice president was all part of God’s plan?

Yes he did. Yes he did. But Pence was not talking about the same God as you are.

Mike Pence was not referring to the God that sits on his heavenly throne but the deity who sits on his golden toilet at 725 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY.

One last thing, Michele. Remember the last time God asked you to run for office? Because of his divine command, you ran for president in 2012. How did that work out?

Photo | politicususa.com

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: Al Franken, Donald Trump, God, God's blessing, Michele Bachmann, Minnesota, Nate Silver, Senate, senate race

Moore Will Concede … When God Tells Him To

December 14, 2017 By John DeProspo 3 Comments

Two days after having lost the Alabama special election, Republican Roy Moore has yet to concede.

On election night, Moore stated that “when the vote is this close, that it’s not over.” He added he would “wait on God and let this process play out.”

True to form, Moore is letting everyone know whom he answers to. It is not the people of Alabama or their manmade laws. It is the word of the Almighty.

Asked it he would concede after Alabama Secretary of State John Merrill certifies the final vote count, Moore answered in a way that surely will please his Christian conservative base, “Hell no!”

“I get my marching orders from God. Until he tells me to do something, I will wait. He hasn’t told me to throw in the towel yet. I know one thing, God works in mysterious ways,“ said Moore.

Democrat Doug Jones, the newly elected Senator from Alabama, said there was “no doubt” in his mind about the election results. He said Moore would “do well to go ahead and let’s get this behind us.”

Rep. Terri Sewell, D-Alabama, told CNN’s “New Day” yesterday morning that she has the “utmost confidence” Jones “won outright.” She suggested Moore’s refusal to concede was a publicity stunt.

“I’m not sure what his posturing is about, other than it keeps him in the limelight and it keeps him relevant for another week,” Sewell said.

Asked when and how he receives God’s word, Moore answered that the Heavenly Father speaks to him in his sleep, adding new meaning to the phrase “I’ll sleep on it.”

Taking a page from Donald Trump’s playbook, Moore plans to hold a rally in deeply conservative Jefferson County later today.

Yes, God told him to.

“Look,” said Moore, “there’s a saying that it ain’t over ‘til the fat lady sings. To a Christian, it ain’t over until God pulls the plug.”

Photo | politifact.com

Caution – elements of this article may be satirical!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Alabama, certify election, christian conservatives, concede, Doug Jones, God, loss, Roy Moore, senate race, special election

“God Wants Judge Roy Moore” Video

December 6, 2017 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Judge Moore’s latest, most powerful new commercial sure to get him to Washington.

Courtesy of The Spiegel Group/ D.C.Douglas

Photo | truepundit.com

***The Daily Nooze*** – named #10 top political satire blog by blog.feedspot.com. Like us on ranker.com (#43)

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Alabama, commercial, election, God, pedophile, Republicans, Roy Moore, satire, Senate

God Punishing Texas For Voting Trump

September 2, 2017 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

Conservative Christians like to believe natural disasters are the result of God’s wrath and retribution. Sodom and Gomorrah come to mind, as does the Great Flood.

More often than not in today’s world, this means the Almighty is unhappy with man’s “homosexual agenda.”

Even though a handful of conservative preachers are blaming Hurricane Harvey’s destruction of Houston on its embrace of gay rights, few would label the state of Texas as one that has been kind to the LGBTQ community

A more plausible explanation of why God would punish the Lone Star state is that it voted decisively for Donald Trump as president.

Do you think a supreme being could be happy with a state that voted for a bigoted, amoral con man and sexual pervert? Wouldn’t God want to punish Texas?

Ken Storey, University of Tampa assistant sociology professor, certainly thinks so.

“I don’t believe in instant karma but this kinda feels like it for Texas. Hopefully this will help them realize the GOP doesn’t care about them” tweeted Storey.

Of course, the backlash to Storey’s reasonable comments was swift as they made the rounds. On Monday, the Florida school issued a statement condemning the professor’s comments, and on Tuesday it was followed with a statement saying he had been fired.

So much for freedom of speech in another Trump-loving state!

It should be noted Storey made his comments outside the work place, on his own personal twitter account.

Undoubtedly there are many Trump supporters claiming God punished Texas not because it voted for Trump but for not being faithful enough to him! To them Trump can do no wrong and wasn’t it God (with the help of the Russians) who put Trump in the White House anyway?

Question … why do most natural disasters happen in conservative, southern states? Just a coincidence?

One thing’s for sure. Once a self-sufficent, personal-freedom-loving state is hit with devastation, watch how quickly it begs for federal funds. Everyone is a socialist after a natural disaster.

Photo | (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

Warning – this article may contain an element of satire!

Editor’s note – No one is making light of the devastation taking place in Houston. Our hearts go out to all the  people suffering in the aftermath of one of the worst storms in American history. Conservative Christians love to blame natural disasters on God’s displeasure with man, specifically the moral decay they see as resulting from the ever increasing rights being afforded the LGBTQ community.The headline gives religious conservatives a little bit of their own medicine by showing the absurdity of blaming the pain and suffering caused by a natural disaster on the wrath of an almighty being.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: Donald Trump, flood, God, homosexual agenda, Hurricane Harvey, punish, Texas

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