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To Understand Why Trump Wants To Buy Greenland, Just Follow The Bouncing Ball

August 16, 2019 By John DeProspo 3 Comments

Reprint from moronmajority.com

Golf ball, that is!

It is no secret Greenland’s glaciers are melting at an alarming rate due to climate change. And underneath all that ice? Future lush green fairways!

Donald Trump has let it be known he wants to buy the world’s largest island (well the U.S. would foot the bill).

Trump, ever the prescient real estate developer, sees a major opportunity to turn the world’s newest frontier into a premier resort destination.

“I really like what I’m seeing with Greenland,” said Trump. “You know they call it Greenland for a reason. Underneath all that snow is beautiful green grass, perfect for building an amazing golf course.”

People familiar with Trump’s thinking on Greenland say he wants to build a casino surrounded by a world-class golf links.

“I’m thinking all that snow and ice will melt in about ten years … just enough time to get plans going to turn all that beautiful land into one great tourist attraction.”

Unfortunately for Trump, Denmark, which owns the island, is not interested in selling. But Trump is not deterred.

“I will use my great negotiating skills to get them to sell it to us on the cheap,” said Trump. “You forget, negotiating great real estate deals is what I do best.”

People who have questioned why the Trump administration has so forcefully opposed any and all efforts to combat climate change my have finally gotten their answer.

To further prove that point, word has it that Trump is also interested in buying Iceland.

“It will take much longer for Iceland to thaw out,” said Trump. “Underneath all that ice, you know, is more ice.”

Photo | pbs.twimg.com

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: buy, Climate change, Donald Trump, golf course, Greenland, resort, satire

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