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Trump Serves Up Some More Red Meat … This Time To Carnivorous College Athletes

January 15, 2019 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Reprint from moronmajority.com

The man who is best-known for serving red meat to his base is today receiving flak for literally serving red meat to a bunch of college football players.

Yesterday Donald Trump, in the White House dining room, treated the Champion Clemson Tigers football team to a fast food extravaganza of burgers from America’s finest fast food establishments … McDonalds, Wendy’s and Burger King.

Critics have called Trump’s artery-clogging smorgasbord “tasteless”, but the young men seemed to enjoy their meal.

There is some dispute as to how much red meat was actually served. The number of burgers went from an original estimate of 300 to a staggering 1000! Another Trumpian whopper?

Trump tweeted today:

Great being with the National Champion Clemson Tigers last night at the White House. Because of the Shutdown I served them massive amounts of Fast Food (I paid), over 1000 hamburgers etc. Within one hour, it was all gone. Great guys and big eaters!

While White House staff told members of the press our junk-food-loving Commander in Chief was pleased with the festive and happy meal, he was disappointed about one thing …

NO LEFTOVERS!

Photo | AP/Susan Walsh

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: burgers, Champion, Clemson Tigers, Donald Trump, fast food, football players, junk food, red meat, white house

Thank You, Mr. Trump, For Proving Junk Food Is Good Food

January 17, 2018 By John DeProspo 5 Comments

My entire life I’ve been told fast food is bad for you. Doctor after doctor has admonished me about the evils of Big Macs. But thanks to you, Mr. Trump, I now know this has all been just one big conspiracy concocted by the medical-industrial complex.

Everyone makes fun of your love of Happy Meals and Kentucky Fried Chicken. People say you are a heart attack in the making. They laugh at your girth. They criticize you for your lack of exercise.

But you, sir, have exposed the truth. All that talk about eating more fruits and vegetables is baloney. Getting 20-30 minutes of exercise each day is a bunch of hooey.

I applaud the courage of your White House doctor, Ronny Jackson, for exposing the big “ healthy eating” lie.

Far from being the out-of-shape individual your critics say you are, Dr. Jackson has made it clear you’re in “excellent health” and “ absolutely fit for duty.”

Dr. Jackson has confirmed what your New York physician, Dr. Harold Bornstein, said during your presidential run… that if you were to win the presidency, you would be the “healthiest individual ever elected.”

Did you know that at 6’3” and 239 pounds your height and weight is almost equal to that of New York Giants tight end Evan Engram (6’3” 240 lbs.)? Truly excellent!

You, sir, are an inspiration for all us junk food addicts.

Now I understand what gives you your vigor and stamina. It’s undoubtedly all that fried chicken, pizza, burgers and fries you eat on a regular basis.

I understand that part of your amazing health is due, as Dr, Jackson noted, to your “incredible genes” but I’ll follow your diet.

Not only will I keep emulating your eating habits but I am giving up my health insurance, Why do I need to pay outrageous premiums to see doctors who lie to me about what constitutes a good diet?

Thank you, Mr. Trump, for shattering another “fake news” myth about the dangers of fast food.

Junk food is good food!

Photo | cnn.com

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: big macs, diet, Donald Trump, Dr. Harold Bornstein, Dr. Ronny Jackson, fast food, health, junk food, physical exam

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