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Donald Trump Is No Messiah … Just One Goddamn Mess

August 22, 2019 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

Donald Trump is in the White House mainly because of overwhelming support from evangelical Christians who saw him as the second coming of Christ.

It now appears such adulation has gone to Trump’s head. In just one day, he labeled himself, “King of Israel,” “the second coming of God” and “the Chosen One.”

But, Mr. Trump, you are no messiah.

I like messiahs who don’t pay porn stars for sex

I like messiahs who don’t file for bankruptcy six times

I like messiahs who don’t separate families and cage children

I like messiahs who don’t take from the poor to give to the rich

I like messiahs who don’t shutdown governments

I like messiahs who don’t cheat at golf

I like messiahs who don’t get love letters from murderous dictators

I like messiahs who don’t think some neo-Nazis are very fine people

I like messiahs who aren’t insecure and arrogant

I like messiahs who care about the future of the planet

I like messiahs who aren’t racist

I like messiahs who can be empathetic

I like messiahs who believe in the rule of law

I like messiahs who contribute to the betterment of the world

I like messiahs who are smarter than a fifth grader

As Timothy L. O’Brien of Bloomberg News puts it,  “… when Trump gazes into the sky at the White House and says that he’s the chosen one, he’s not the type who thinks he can actually walk on water. He’s the type who’s hoping that droves of evangelical voters might keep falling for his shtick.”

Photo | spectator.co.uk

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: Chosen One, Donald Trump, king of Israel, list, messiah, second coming of God, Trump is no messiah

Donald Trump … King Of The Jews?

August 21, 2019 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

Just one day after being scorned by the people of Greenland, Donald Trump declares himself the King of Israel!

Many Americans are wondering, however, when and if he’ll ever take on the real role of President of the United States.

Photo | bigcommerce.com

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: anti-semitic, Donald Trump, king of Israel, king of the jews

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