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You are here: Home / Archives for Michael Cohen

“The Great Trumpini” Dodges Another Bullet!

May 7, 2021 By John DeProspo 7 Comments

Just when you think he can’t possibly get out of this one … he does! He’s the world’s greatest escape artist, “The Great Trumpini!” You can wrap him in chains, stuff him in a trunk and throw it into the deepest lake and, voila, the master performs his death-defying escape act once again.

Today we learned the Federal Election Commission (FEC) has dropped its inquiry into Donald Trump’s hush-money payment to porn star, Stormy Daniels, made just days before the 2020 presidential election.

The bipartisan commission was evenly split with the two Democrats voting to continue the investigation into Trump’s payment to Daniels made through his personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, while the two Republicans voted to drop the case.

Cohen can’t understand why he paid the price for being the bagman in the obvious illegal scheme, having served jail time, while his boss escapes without any consequences.

“The hush money payment was done at the direction of and for the benefit of Donald J. Trump,” Cohen said in a statement after the decision. “Like me, Trump should have been found guilty. How the FEC committee could rule any other way is confounding.”

Michael, we’re talking about “The Great Trumpini.” After escaping two impeachment trials, where he was guilty as sin, did you think he would not get out of the FEC jam?

Won’t it be fun and exciting to see how your old boss gets out of all the other legal troubles he’s still enmeshed in?

Photo | politico.com

Related story, Donald Trump Is The Real “Teflon Don”

Filed Under: featured, politics Tagged With: Donald Trump, drops case, escape artist, FEC, hush-money, investigation, legal consequences, Michael Cohen, Stormy Daniels, The Great Trumpini

Why Donald Trump Should Release His College Grades

March 1, 2019 By John DeProspo 1 Comment

As part of his testimony to Congress the other day, Michael Cohen revealed that, at the direction of Donald Trump, he threatened to sue any school or college that released his boss’s academic records.

The Daily Nooze has been able to confirm that at least one outside academician, Dean Vernon Wormer, has seen Trump’s college transcript. In a succinct, blunt assessment, Wormer has divulged Trump’s GPA “stinks!”

Perhaps Trump is being overly sensitive about revealing his below average marks. Some advisors are recommending Trump make public his college grades, as that will most likely further ingratiate him with his mostly unschooled base.

After all, Trump has said, “I love the poorly educated.”. And they, sure as heck, love one of their own!

Photo | youtube.com

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: academic records, college transcript, Dean Wormer, Donald Trump, GPA, grades, Michael Cohen, release, satire

Could Another Rat Bring Down Another Don?

February 28, 2019 By John DeProspo 3 Comments

Yesterday, Michael “The Fixer” Cohen, testified against his former boss, Donald Trump, much like Sammy “The Bull” Gravano sang against his boss, John “The Don” Gotti.

If you’re a fan of the rule of law, Cohen’s testimony will help bring down Trump and send him to a 6×8 semi-furnished “penthouse” much like the one Gotti occupied until the end of his days.

Lady Justice loves rats.

Photos| celebsiren.com, tmz.com

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: boss, Donald Trump, justice, mafia, Michael Cohen, prison, rule of law, Sammy "The Bull" Gravano

Sorry, Rudy, There Is One Place Where Truth IS Still Truth

August 22, 2018 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Donald Trump’s TV lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, told NBC’s Chuck Todd something quite extraordinary a few days ago. On Meet the Press this Sunday, Giuliani said to a stunned Todd, “Truth isn’t truth.”

Upping the ante on Kellyanne Conway’s infamous “alternative facts” comment, Giuliani doubled down on his Orwellian pronouncement the following day by tweeting: “My statement was not meant as a pontification on moral theology but one referring to the situation where two people make precisely contradictory statements, the classic ‘he said, she said’ puzzle.”

As crazy as it sounds, Giuliani’s statement does have some merit when it comes to political speech or when referring to some news outlets. The truth can be malleable.

As we found out yesteray, however, the truth is still the truth in a court of law. The bulwark of our democracy, our legal system, works.

A jury in Virginia convicted Trump’s former campaign chairman, Paul Manafort, on eight felony counts of bank fraud and tax evasion. At about the same time, in a New York court, Trump’s legal fixer, Michael Cohen, pleaded guilty to eight counts of campaign finance violations, tax and bank fraud.

It didn’t matter what lies or fakery Manafort and Cohen engaged in prior to their day in court, once they stood in front of the man in the black robe, all the BS, the spin, the mangling of facts, ended.

It is said that justice is based on truth. Truth, in the law, means objective, reliable facts that can be admitted as evidence in a trial.

With what Cohen admitted to yesterday under oath, namely that Donald Trump directed him to violate campaign finance laws, it won’t be long before all of Trump’s claims of innocence, of “witch hunt”, of “no collusion”, will be put to the test … hopefully at an upcoming trial in the United States Senate after the House approves articles of impeachment.

Hey Rudy, when two people make contradictory statements, you know, the old he, said she said … one is telling the truth, one is lying.

Photo | nypost.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, politics Tagged With: "truth isn't truth", court, Donald Trump, facts, justice, Michael Cohen, Paul Manafort, Rudy Giuliani, rule of law, trial, truth

Trump-Cohen Tape … What Giuliani Is Engaged In Is Not “Spin”

July 25, 2018 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Political spin is defined by Encyclopedia Britannia as “the attempt to control or influence communication in order to deliver one’s preferred message” …  it refers to “the sophisticated selling of a specific message that is heavily biased in favor of one’s own position and that employs maximum management of the media with the intention of maintaining or exerting control over the situation, often implying deception or manipulation.”

What Trump’s attorney, Rudolph Giuliani, is blasting out over the airwaves is not spin but outright lies.

Now that the Michael Cohen tape of his discussion with Trump, concerning how to deal with paying former Playboy model, Karen McDougal, has gone public, Giuliani is telling anyone who cares to hear his take on the recording that “it’s powerful exculpatory evidence.”

Okay. Good spin, I’ll give him that.

But how Trump wanted to pay McDougal, cash or check, is a whole other issue.

According to Giuliani, in the recording, Trump is saying to his fixer, Cohen, “Don’t pay with cash.”

Yet a careful review of the tape shows that Giuliani has gone beyond spin and into snow job territory.

While the audio is somewhat muffled, Trump can be heard saying to “pay with cash,” and Cohen says, “no, no, no.”

Does this really matter in the big scheme of things? Probably not. Yet it’s another example of team Trump lying to the American people.

Yesterday at a Veterans of Foreign Wars gathering in Kansas City, Trump went completely Orwellian when he told his audience not to believe their own eyes and ears.

“Just remember, what you are seeing and what you are reading is not what’s happening,” said Trump.

For many Trump supporters who are either too lazy or brainwashed to actually listen to the Cohen recording, this is exactly what they’ll believe. Fake news.

Photo | rawstory.com/CNN

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: cash, check, Cohen tape, Donald Trump. political spin, falsehoods, Kansas City, Karen McDougal, lies, Michael Cohen, Orwellian, recording

So What’s Up With Jared And Ivanka?

April 19, 2018 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

With so much drama surrounding the White House these past few weeks … with round-the-clock news coverage of mistresses, Playboy bunnies, FBI raids, Michael Cohen … there has been very little press devoted to two familiar names, Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump.

It’s as if Jarvanka (as the couple is derisively called) skipped town.

Well, last week, they did.

The two attended the Summit of the Americas in Lima, Peru, along with Vice President Mike Pence, Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross, and United States Trade Representative Robert Lighthizer.

Some observers have noted that whenever things heat up in Washington D.C., the power couple seems to make themselves scarce.

As Republican efforts to repeal Obamacare were sinking in the Senate during the spring of 2017, Kushner and family skied in Aspen. During protests in defense of confederate monuments in Charlottesville in August, Jared and Ivanka escaped Washington, D.C. for a quick trip to Vermont.

And so, following the raid of the home, office and hotel room of Donald Trump’s personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, Jarvanka decides to head for Peru?

It is possible what law enforcement agents find in documents seized from Cohen (e-mails, tax documents, and business records, or from whatever Cohen decides to share with investigators) could be very harmful for Jarvanka.

The Summit of the Americas is a two-day gathering for heads of state from the Western hemisphere that occurs every three years.

Though the summit has ended, no one seems to be sure of the current whereabouts of Jared and Ivanka. Have they decided to extend their stay?

Does anyone know if Peru and the United States have an extradition agreement?

Photo | slate.com

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, politics Tagged With: Donald Trump, escape, gone missing, Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner, Michael Cohen, Peru, Summit of the Americas

Trump’s Lawyer, Michael Cohen, … No “Legal Eagle”

April 10, 2018 By John DeProspo 3 Comments

In light of the most recent developments surrounding Michael Cohen, this March 10 story is worth the reprint.

Donald Trump likes to boast he surrounds himself with only the best and the brightest. Judging from the revolving door that is his administration, that brag is just another example of the fantasyland Trump’s mind inhabits.

Take Michael Cohen, Trump’s personal lawyer.

Also known as Trump’s “pit bull,” Cohen has demonstrated, on multiple occasions, he will never be confused with Clarence Darrow. The whole Stormy Daniels saga drips with legal incompetence and possible ethics violations.

Many lawyers watching Cohen’s most recent bumbling performance can only shake their heads and laugh. “Where did this guy get his law degree … Trump U? A Cracker Jack box?”

Michael Cohen is a graduate of Thomas M. Cooley Law School, in Michigan. The school was recently ranked the worst law school in the country by Above the Law.

According to Cooley’s ABA required disclosures, only 27.4% of graduates from the class of 2015 obtained full-time, bar-passage-required employment 9 months after graduation. As for academic standards, Cooley recently accepted 85.6% of its applicants, far and away the highest acceptance rate in the country.

Even mob bosses know to look for talent among the better law schools. The infamous Roy Cohn, who, coincidentally, was one of Trump’s early mentors, was a graduate of Columbia Law School.

The combination of dumbness and bravado may get you a job with Trump, but it can also buy you major ethical and legal problems, potentially meriting disbarment and prosecution for crimes.

Paying a porn star “hush money” out of his own pocket to silence her about her alleged affair with Donald Trump, Cohen may have broken several laws and ethical rules.

But a far greater threat to Cohen is the Mueller Trump-Russia investigation. It has been reported he is a person of interest to the Special Counsel because of his role in the negotiations he undertook during the campaign to help the Trump Organization build a tower in Moscow.

Michael Cohen … not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Yes, he may be a “pit bull” but he is far from the “legal eagle” someone like Trump should be surrounding himself with.

Photo | dailydot.com

 

Filed Under: featured, politics Tagged With: Donald Trump, incompetence, lawyer, legal eagle, Michael Cohen, pit bull, Thomas M. Cooley Law School, worst law school

Trump’s Lawyer, Michael Cohen, … No “Legal Eagle”

March 10, 2018 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Donald Trump likes to boast he surrounds himself with only the best and the brightest. Judging from the revolving door that is his administration, that brag is just another example of the fantasyland Trump’s mind inhabits.

Take Michael Cohen, Trump’s personal lawyer.

Also known as Trump’s “pit bull,” Cohen has demonstrated, on multiple occasions, he will never be confused with Clarence Darrow. The whole Stormy Daniels saga drips with legal incompetence and possible ethics violations.

Many lawyers watching Cohen’s most recent bumbling performance can only shake their heads and laugh. “Where did this guy get his law degree … Trump U? A Cracker Jack box?”

Michael Cohen is a graduate of Thomas M. Cooley Law School, in Michigan. The school was recently ranked the worst law school in the country by Above the Law.

According to Cooley’s ABA required disclosures, only 27.4% of graduates from the class of 2015 obtained full-time, bar-passage-required employment 9 months after graduation. As for academic standards, Cooley recently accepted 85.6% of its applicants, far and away the highest acceptance rate in the country.

Even mob bosses know to look for talent among the better law schools. The infamous Roy Cohn, who, coincidentally, was one of Trump’s early mentors, was a graduate of Columbia Law School.

The combination of dumbness and bravado may get you a job with Trump, but it can also buy you major ethical and legal problems, potentially meriting disbarment and prosecution for crimes.

Paying a porn star “hush money” out of his own pocket to silence her about her alleged affair with Donald Trump, Cohen may have broken several laws and ethical rules.

But a far greater threat to Cohen is the Mueller Trump-Russia investigation. It has been reported he is a person of interest to the Special Counsel because of his role in the negotiations he undertook during the campaign to help the Trump Organization build a tower in Moscow.

Michael Cohen … not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Yes, he may be a “pit bull” but he is far from the “legal eagle” someone like Trump should be surrounding himself with.

Photo | dailydot.com

 

Filed Under: featured, politics Tagged With: Donald Trump, incompetence, lawyer, legal eagle, Michael Cohen, pit bull, Thomas M. Cooley Law School, worst law school

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