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Mind-blowing Scenario … Trump-Trump 2020!

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While Donald Trump may not be able to read tea leaves, his campaign team certainly can. They see certain defeat in November for their boss if current polling trends are not reversed.

One of the most talked-about scenarios for shaking things up is for Trump to dump Pence in favor of a more compelling running mate … say, a woman. Say, Nikki Haley?

The idea of Trump matching Biden, who has pledged to pick a woman as his running mate, makes a whole lot of sense. But Haley?

Why not Ivanka?

Let’s play this out.

Trump convinces Pence to resign for the good of the GOP. He chooses Ivanka to be his new VP.

The Trump-Trump ticket would add instant excitement to a reelection campaign that is stuck in the mire and heading for what some are predicting a landslide defeat.

If the Trump-Trump ticket wins, it’s all good.

If the father-daughter tag team loses in November, also all good.

After the November defeat, Donald Trump resigns the presidency, making Ivanka president. She then pardons her father of all crimes committed in the past or in the future, while in office or out of office … basically a pardon in perpetuity! (I know this is not possible but Ivanka is a Trump. The law doesn’t apply to Trumps, remember?)

In the meantime, now president Ivanka picks her husband, Jared Kushner, as her VP, to serve out the rest of the term. The two then siphon off as much money as possible from the national treasury before leaving office in January 2021.  Yes, Don Jr. would throw a fit being passed over for VP.  At least Eric wouldn’t mind.

Having been pardoned for all possible crimes, Trump spends his days golfing and setting up his new cable network, TrumpTV.

The stated goal of TrumpTV will be to replace Fox News as the number one source for conservative disinformation, conspiracy theories, etc. and “to make Biden a one-term president.” 

Of course, Ivanka and Jared would be free to run again in 2024.

Ok. This sounds crazy but is it any crazier than a country electing a mentally deficient, reality TV con man to the most powerful office in the world?

Photo | hollywoodreporter.com

Marianne Williamson Proves Why We All Need To Do Our Due Diligence

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Reprint from moronmajority.com

About one month ago, I wrote a satirical piece, “Trump Pardons Charles Manson.” I also reposted the article on Dailykos.com.

What was intended as a lighthearted jab at Trump’s expansive, and seemingly indiscriminate, use of his pardoning power has morphed into a major brouhaha and latest embarrassment for presidential candidate Marianne Williamson.

Not realizing the story was satire, Williamson tweeted: 

“There is something deeply sinister about Trump pardoning Charles Manson, even posthumously. Dog whistles of the very worst possible kind…”

Williamson later apologized for the mistake and said that she was “glad to have been wrong,” but then deleted both the original tweet and the apology.

If only the self-help guru had done a simple Google search she would have discovered the story was in jest. Scopes.com correctly labeled the article as “satire.”

Williamson should have read the disclaimer on moronmajority.com, which reads, “This site is devoted to satire. If you believe any of the stuff you read here, don’t look now, but you probably belong to the group this site is named for.”

Let this be a teachable moment for one and all. If a story sounds preposterous … totally batsh*t crazy … it is probably fake news or well done satire.

Then again, in the age of Trump, where windmills cause cancer, can we say anything is utterly ludicrous?

Photo | sarah silbiger/reuters

Trump Pardons Charles Manson

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Reprint from moronmajority.com

Just days after pardoning three service members convicted, or accused, of war crimes, Donald Trump has issued a posthumous pardon to the convicted cult leader, Charles Manson, who died in prison in 2017.

Asked why he would pardon one of the most hated criminals in American history, Trump replied, “I always thought Charlie got a bum rap. He never killed anyone. It was his followers who committed the crimes.”

Some are speculating this latest pardon is just another one of Trump’s outrageous acts meant to distract the American public from the ongoing impeachment proceedings. Others believe it is a setup to the much-anticipated pardon of his good friend and self-proclaimed “dirty trickster,” Roger Stone.

Said an anonymous source, “If you look at the piddling crimes he was convicted of … obstruction of justice, lying to Congress and witness tampering, it will make Roger’s pardon less odious in comparison.”

Fighting back against his detractors, Trump added he has every right to issue pardons.

“The Constitution, and William Barr, give me the right to do whatever I want,” declared a resolute Trump.

Photo | nbcnews.com

Warning – this could be “fake” nooze

Trump Accidentally Pardons Wrong Turkey

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The presidential turkey pardon is a White House tradition dating back to 1963. While some historians have claimed it was President Lincoln’s 1863 clemency to a turkey, recorded in a 1865 dispatch by White House reporter, Noah Brooks, that originated the ceremony, most agree it was JFK who popularized the ritual as we know it today.

A White House source has revealed that when Donald Trump was reminded of this year’s turkey pardon, he mistakenly got on the phone with Turkey’s president, Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, who took Trump’s message as a green light to invade Syria.

Upon learning of the error, White House aides brought the snafu to Trump’s attention, only to be rebuffed by the commander in chief.

“Turkey is a beautiful country and they have every right to exist and do whatever they want,” said a proud and defiant Trump.

When administration officials informed Erdoğan of the embarrassing mix-up, he replied, “Sorry, no backsies.”

Photo | nbcnews.com

Warning – this could be “fake” nooze

 

 

Trump Pardons Sheriff Arpaio … Charles Manson Next

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Following through on what he hinted at during Tuesday’s campaign rally in Phoenix, Arizona, Donald Trump has pardoned Joe Arpaio, the controversial former Maricopa County sheriff who was convicted of criminal contempt related to his hard-line tactics going after undocumented immigrants.

According to White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, this is the first of a series of presidential pardons planned by her boss. Convicted mass murderer Charles Manson is next on the list.

The Daily Nooze was afforded an exclusive interview with Donald Trump where the subject of Manson’s pardon was discussed.

Daily Nooze: “Sir, your pardoning of Sheriff Arpaio is being derided by many as a perversion of justice. It would seem pardoning Charles Manson will only further inflame your critics.”

Trump: “Do I not have the Constitutional power to pardon anyone I want?”

Daily Nooze: “Yes, but Charles Manson was convicted on 27 counts of murder and is currently serving 27 life sentences. Why should he be shown any leniency?”

Trump: “Yes, Charlie is an evil man. But is that all he is? There are two sides to everything and to everyone. You’ve never done something bad in your life?”

Daily Nooze: “ But he was the leader of a cult that killed seven people, including the pregnant actress Sharon Tate. He believed in “Helter Skelter” … in anarchy.”

Trump: “Look, Charlie never killed anybody. His people did that, all right? He got a bum rap as far as I’m concerned. He has spent 45 years in the big house, is now 82 years old and in bad health. I think he has paid his dues to society. He has been rehabilitated, from what I can tell. Letting him see a little bit of freedom before he dies is the Christian thing to do. Remember our god is a god of mercy.”

Daily Nooze: “You know he was sentenced to be executed but was only spared because California abolished the death penalty.”

Trump: “Yes, I know that. The Lord spared him then and I will spare him now. Did you know Charlie was a great musician before he decided to become a mass murderer? That counts for something, believe me.”

Trump says he became a Charles Manson fan after watching his biography on the History Channel.

Photos | en.wikipedia.org

Caution – This could be fake news!

 

 

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