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You are here: Home / Archives for pardons

Trump’s Post-Presidency Priority Is To Work On Election Integrity! (No, This Is Not Satire)

January 23, 2021 By John DeProspo 9 Comments

I have to admit, it was a challenge writing satirical pieces about Trump and his administration over the last four years. What started out as an attempt at light-hearted humor often ended up as Trumpian reality.

The highlight of my efforts to make fun of the-man-who-no-longer-occupies-the-White-House was a story I wrote about Trump’s deranged pardons. The article was titled, “Trump Pardons Charles Manson.” 

What made that story memorable was that it was picked up by then-presidential candidate Marianne Williamson who did not realize it was “fake news.” She tweeted to her 2.8 million followers, “There is something deeply sinister about Trump pardoning Charles Manson, even posthumously. Dog whistles of the very worst possible kind …”

The brouhaha that arose over Williamson’s faux pas made its way into many media outlets. The story even found its way into Jimmy Fallon’s monologue on the Tonight Show! Williamson withdrew her candidacy weeks later. Coincidence? Ha!

So, when I read an article today in the very conservative townhall.com, titled, “Key Advisor Reveals Trump’s Post-Presidency Plans,” I was shocked to learn just what those plans were! In any other publication the linking of Trump with election integrity would, no doubt, be parody.

Here is part of the very real piece written by Beth Baumann:

Now that President Donald Trump has left the White House, many Americans are wondering what he plans to do next. There have been rumors about him starting a new political party, known as the Patriot Party. But, according to one of his key advisors, Jason Miller, Trump plans to focus on something bigger and far more important: election integrity.

Just one day after boarding Air Force One with the Trump family on their venture from Washington, D.C. to Mar-a-Lago, Miller told “Just the News AM” that the former president has a couple of goals over the next few years, including “winning back the House and the Senate for Republicans in 2022 to make sure that we can stop the Democratic craziness.”

“You’re also going to see him emerge as the nation’s leader on ballot and voting integrity,” he said.

According to Miller, Trump wants to focus on voter integrity but that work will never take place in Washington, D.C. because Democrats don’t believe there is a threat to America’s elections. Instead, Trump is likely to work with individual states and state legislatures to create reforms. 

If you have the time, read the comments of some of Trump’s more ardent supporters. The belief that Trump had the election stolen from him, and that he is right to fight for “fair elections,” is all too real to those wackadoodles.

Sorry, President Biden, but there can never be normalcy again in our great country until a writer’s attempt at political satire is no longer at his peril.

Photo | Forbes.com

Filed Under: featured, politics Tagged With: Charles Manson, Donald Trump, election integrity, Marianne Williamson, pardons, satire, townhall.com

White House Sets Up “Pardon Hotline”

December 23, 2020 By John DeProspo 5 Comments

Reprint from moronmajority.com

With less than one month remaining in office, Donald Trump’s White House has established a “pardon hotline” to expedite the granting of presidential pardons to crooks.

“Over the last few months, we’ve been flooded with pardon requests from felons across the country,” said a White House spokesperson. “The old method of filing your request with the Justice Department is just too long and cumbersome.” 

Lawbreakers of all stripes can simply call 1 800 P-A-R-D-O-N-M-E or 1 800 727-3665. 

The spokesperson said special consideration will be given to those criminals who have made a “decent” contribution to Trump’s “Election Defense Fund.”

Asked if Trump isn’t just pulling a Blagojevich (soliciting a bribe for a favor), the White House spokesperson said, “No, there is a big difference. What Blagojevich did was a crime. You can’t sell a senate seat. What Trump is doing is 100% legally within his Constitutional power.”

“The beauty of the hotline,” added the spokesperson, “is that when you call, you’ll get your answer right away. You’ll be speaking directly to the Pardoner-in-Chief, President Trump. And, yes, this will result in some very long hold times, estimated to be up to 5 hours, but we have some great music on hold.”

Currently the Village People’s Y.M.C.A. is playing on a continuous loop.

While Democrats have accused Trump of abusing his pardon power to reward allies and undermine the rule of law, House Intelligence Committee Chairman, Adam Schiff, inadvertently advertised the hotline when he said:

 “If you lie to cover up for the President, you get a pardon. If you are a corrupt politician who endorsed Trump, you get a pardon. If you murder civilians while at war, you get a pardon.”

Some political pundits have cynically said that while the phone call is free, the get-out-of-jail-free-card certainly is not.

Photo | theatlantic.com/REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst

*moronmajority.com is a satirical site … seriously!

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: 1 800 P-A-R-D-O-N-M-E, abuse of pardon power, Donald Trump, pardon hotline, pardoner-in-chief, pardons, satire

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