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America’s Last Undecided Voter

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Reprint from moronmajority.com*

With the presidential election less than two months away, battle lines have been drawn. Sides have been chosen. Americans know who they will be voting for … except for Earl Scruggs.

Scruggs has the distinction of being the last undecided voter in the country.

We at Moron Majority recently had the opportunity to interview America’s final fence-sitter.

MM: Mr. Scruggs, how is it with all the news about the two candidates you still haven’t decided who to vote for?

Scruggs: I don’t much listen to the news but I do talk to a lot of people. Seems like half are voting for Trump, half are voting for Biden.

MM: Did you vote for Trump in 2016?

Scruggs: Yes, but in 2008 and 2012 I voted for Obama.

MM: So, you really are a swing voter! What do you like about Trump?

Scruggs: I like that he loves the flag so much he dry humps it every chance he gets. I like Melania too, she’s one mighty fine-looking woman!

MM: What about Biden? What do you like about him?

Scruggs: I like Joe’s teeth. They must be the whitest teeth of any politician ever. I like that he smiles a lot, too.  Plus, I think his aviator shades make him look cool.

MM: Mr. Scruggs, what you’re talking about are appearances and behavior. Aren’t there any policy differences between the two that could help make up your mind?

Scruggs: Nope. To me all that policy stuff doesn’t matter because all politicians are the same. They’ll say anything to get elected. All they want is power and to get reelected. I go with what strikes my eye. I go with my gut. But, right now, it’s telling me to maybe just sit this one out.

So there you have it. Democrats and Republicans will be spending millions in the coming days to sway Earl Scruggs in what may turn out to be one expensive, but futile, effort.

Photo | baltimoresun.com

*moronmajority.com is a satirical site … seriously!

In A Sane World, Trump’s Reelection Would Be Considered Unthinkable

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After one of the biggest governmental screw-ups in the American history, the president overseeing such a fiasco would be run out of office on a rail. He certainly would have no chance at reelection … right?

But of course, we do not live in a sane world, do we?

That Trump could so mishandle the national response to the coronavirus pandemic and set the stage for an economic downturn possibly not seen since the Great Depression, and still win reelection, is mind-boggling. 

Then again, in a sane world a pathological liar would never be elected to the most powerful office on Earth in the first place.  In a functioning American democracy, a corrupt, incompetent leader would be removed from office as the Constitution prescribes.

Yet here we are, seven months away from the next presidential election and Donald Trump is only marginally trailing Joe Biden, the presumptive Democratic nominee, in some battleground states. Marginally … as within the margin of error. 

Yes, the latest USA Today/Suffolk national poll has Biden with a commanding lead over Trump (50-40 percent) but national polling strength does not necessarily equate to Electoral College strength, as we so well know.

With an unemployment rate increasing by the day; with so many families unable to pay their bills; with so many of our fellow citizens needlessly stricken by the coronavirus, how could a good chunk of Americans still want four more years of Trump at the helm?

As Chauncey DeVega writes in Salon:

A culture of distraction and spectacle has rendered many Americans incapable of being responsible engaged citizens. Our public educational system does not teach critical thinking skills.

Add to that a right-wing propaganda network, Fox News, ranked the most-watched cable news network 18 years in a row; throw in the Republican Party’s efforts to limit access to voting among predominantly Democratic folk and you have Trump with a good chance of stealing another election, pandemic or no pandemic… depression or no depression.

In politics, seven months is a lifetime. But for current polling to still have Trump with anywhere near a shot at reelection while we are in the middle of one of the worst health and economic crises in the nation’s history should scare the daylights out of us.

Photo | cnn.com

Could “Something Old, Something New” Be The Winning Formula For Dems In 2020?

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As we get set for the first Democratic primary debate in June, it’s as good a time as any to start thinking about who would make the best presidential nominee and which “couple” would represent the most formidable ticket.

My belief is that after what will be four years of total havoc and chaos in Washington D.C., the country needs a stabilizing force at the head of its government. It is not a time to experiment with a political lightweight or unknown. What we need is an experienced elder statesman who can restore honor and dignity to the once revered Office of the President.

This is why I believe Bernie Sanders, or Joe Biden, would be the right choice for Democrats.

This is the something old part.

As for a vice presidential candidate, the country could use something totally out of the ordinary.

This is the something new part.

While a female VP pick would be something new in the sense that a woman has never served as second in command (the unsuccessful Walter Mondale chose Geraldine Ferraro to be his running mate in 1984) I’m thinking of something more radical. Instead of the first female vice president, I’m thinking more of the first openly gay vice president.

South Bend, Indiana, mayor, Pete Buttigieg, fits the bill perfectly.

The 37-year-old is doing quite well for himself. Before “officially” announcing his bid for the presidency, he raised $7 million. After declaring he was running for the White House this past Sunday, he raised an additional $1 million … in just four hours!

Yes, a good part of the country is still homophobic. But the “fear of gays” is starting to melt almost as fast as the polar ice caps.

As of 2019, all 50 states have been served by openly LGBT elected politicians in some capacity; 46 states have elected openly LGBT politicians to one or both houses of their state legislature; there has been one openly bisexual state governor (Kate Brown).

Oh, by the way, if you listen the Rhodes scholar Buttigieg speak, you too will be won over by his intelligence, poise and clear vision for the future.

Sanders and Buttigieg. Biden and Buttigieg. It doesn’t matter. This is the Democrats’ best chance to regain the now sullied White House.

One last thought. It would be very important for Sanders or Biden to announce they would be a one-term president. President Buttigieg in 2024? Count me in!

Photos | wikipedia.org, msn.com

Addendum: According to a recent Fox News poll, in a matchup between Trump and Biden, Biden wins by 7 points, Sanders wins by 3 points. Both Harris and Warren lose by 2 points.

 

 

 

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