Resorting to his most tried-and-true tactic, Donald Trump has threatened to sue the framers of the United States Constitution. Citing how unfair and restrictive the document is to his presidency, Trump is seriously looking into a “very big” lawsuit against the legends of American history.

“I’m going against the whole lot of them,” said an angry Trump. “Washington, Hamilton, Franklin, Adams, Jefferson Jay and Madison.”

According to sources, Trump is upset how those American patriots and visionaries have hamstrung his presidency at almost every turn with their “phony constitution.” Asked Trump, “What good is being president if I can’t do whatever I want to do?”

“The president’s first instinct on these types of things is very often: Sue, sue, sue, and then sue some more,” said a close confidant of the Suer-in-Chief.

Trump’s personal attorneys, Jay Sekulow and Rudy Giuliani, have not informed Trump that it is not possible to bring a lawsuit against people who have been dead for over 200 years.

“I learned long ago never to question the wisdom of perhaps the most brilliant president in American history,” said Giuliani with a straight face. “The man usually gets what he wants.”

While seemingly incredible, it is being reported that Trump has consulted with the former slave and famed American intellectual, Frederick Douglass, in his pursuit of legal action against the authors of the Constitution.

“Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is getting recognized more and more, I notice,” said Trump.

Whether or not Trump actually follows through with his threat of legal action remains to be seen. If history is any guide, Trump’s threats to sue will amount to nothing more than a way to intimidate his enemies … dead or alive.

Photo | history.com