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Why Donald Trump Should Release His College Grades

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As part of his testimony to Congress the other day, Michael Cohen revealed that, at the direction of Donald Trump, he threatened to sue any school or college that released his boss’s academic records.

The Daily Nooze has been able to confirm that at least one outside academician, Dean Vernon Wormer, has seen Trump’s college transcript. In a succinct, blunt assessment, Wormer has divulged Trump’s GPA “stinks!”

Perhaps Trump is being overly sensitive about revealing his below average marks. Some advisors are recommending Trump make public his college grades, as that will most likely further ingratiate him with his mostly unschooled base.

After all, Trump has said, “I love the poorly educated.”. And they, sure as heck, love one of their own!

Photo | youtube.com

Dems Set To Propose New National Holiday

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Reprint from moronmajority.com

During a White House interview on Tuesday, Donald Trump said there would be hell to pay if he is impeached.

“I think that the people would revolt if that happened,” Trump told Reuters.

Asked about Trump’s comment, a senior House Democrat shared a different predication.

“The day Trump leaves office, whether by resignation, impeachment or an act of god, will be a day for rejoicing, not revolting,” said the congressman, who wished to remain anonymous.

The lawmaker revealed there is even talk among House Democrats that Trump’s last day in office should be celebrated as a national holiday.

“The end of our long national nightmare should be observed … forever,” said a spokesperson for the soon-to-be Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi.

Of course the Republican-controlled Senate would never go along with such a proposal.

The idea, for now, will have to be put on ice until 2020 when Democrats retake the Oval Office, the Senate and increase their control of the House.

Photo | REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst

 

Something Even The Writers Of “Animal House” Could Not Have Imagined

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During the final scenes of perhaps the greatest frat movie ever made, the audience of National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978) is treated to a glimpse of what becomes of some of the wild boys of Delta Tau Chi. Ladies’ man Eric Stratton (“Otter”) goes on to become a Beverly Hills gynecologist.  Eternal loser Kent Dorfman (“Flounder”) finds his calling as a sensitivity trainer and obnoxious boozer John Blutarsky (“Bluto”) becomes a U.S. senator.

It now appears the movie’s comedy writers were too timid in their satire. They needed to think bigger, especially for John Belushi’s “Bluto” character. But back then, even satire had its limits. To be fair, how could the writers have ever imagined that in the year 2018, an actual hard-drinking frat boy could be appointed Associate Justice of the United States Supreme Court?

Without a doubt, in the Age of Trump, satire is dead.

Photo | theconservativetreehouse.com

 

 

Brett Kavanaugh Set To Star In New Beer Ad

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From moronmajority.com

Brett Kavanaugh may have hurt his image as a judge while testifying before the Senate Judiciary Committee. But he certainly enhanced his reputation as a beer lover. By repeating, “I like beer,” Kavanaugh caught the ear of some very savvy beer execs.

Photo | washingtonian.com

Kavanaugh Channels His Inner Thomas

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Reprint from moronmajority.com

Looking to counter the accusation he attempted to rape a girl in high school, Brett Kavanaugh takes a page from the successfully disingenuous “socio-economic” outrage employed by Clarence Thomas at his own Senate confirmation hearing.

Photo | theccut.com

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