White House sources say Trump is hot on the trail of unmasking the anonymous senior staff member who wrote a blistering critique of his administration in a New York Times op-ed this week.
Photo | newsweek.com
Trump Keeps Laying Groundwork For Insanity Defense
Reprint from moronmajority.com
While Donald Trump has said some crazy stuff since taking office, his latest accusation against a major news network provides proof positive he intends to use the “insanity defense” in any criminal prosecution against him.
Trump is now making the absurd, and baseless, claim that NBC News somehow doctored an interview with Lester Holt in which he cites the Russia investigation as a factor behind firing FBI director James Comey.
“What’s going on at @CNN is happening, to different degrees, at other networks – with @NBCNews being the worst,” Trump tweeted. “The good news is that Andy Lack(y) is about to be fired(?) for incompetence, and much worse. When Lester Holt got caught fudging my tape on Russia, they were hurt badly!”
The “insanity defense,” also known as the mental disorder defense, is a defense by excuse in a criminal case, arguing that the defendant is not responsible for his or her actions due to an episodic or persistent psychiatric disease at the time of the criminal act.
It is possible Trump just might pull this off if he keeps going on this way.
What’s next … the Earth is flat? The moon landing was fake? Big Foot is an alien? Dinosaurs helped build the pyramids? Elvis is still alive? The National Enquirer is real news? Don Jr. and Ivanka are not really my kids?
As Rachel might say, “Watch this space.”
Photo | nytimes/leaonhardt
What If You Held A Hate Rally And Only A Few Nazis Show Up?
Reprint from moronmajority.com
This year’s “Unite The Right” rally in D.C was a bust.
As reported in the Washington Post, “White supremacists held a rally in Washington on Sunday, and almost no one but their opponents and the police showed up.”
“Jason Kessler, one of the organizers of last year’s violent and deadly ‘Unite the Right’ rally in Charlottesville,” wrote the Post, “wanted to hold an anniversary demonstration there, but the city wouldn’t let him. So he brought his show to Washington, where he hoped 400 supporters would join him for a rally at Lafayette Square, across from the White House. Fewer than 40 turned out.”
In an exclusive interview with MM, Kessler blamed the piddling attendance on Donald Trump.
“Would it have hurt Trump to put out a tweet or two promoting our event?” asked Kessler. “The man tweets about everything, why not about our great rally?”
After last year’s violent rally in Charlottesville, Donald Trump gave aid and comfort to the white nationalists by saying “there is blame on both sides” for the deadly violence, equating the actions of white nationalist groups and those protesting them.
It was suggested to Kessler that maybe hate has lost its appeal, its panache. The peddler of animus was having none of it. “Hate is as American as apple pie. It will never go out of style. No, I blame this all on Trump.”
Donald Trump has yet to chime in on this year’s flop of a hate rally.
Photo | Joshua Roberts/Reuters
Two Men of Means Inspired By The Noble Cause of Education
While finding time in his hectic schedule to dunk in the face of basketball great, LeBron James, founder of a top-notch public high school for low-income kids, Donald Trump gets ready to celebrate the 15threunion of Trump University’s first graduating class.
Photos | madmagazine.com, IMDb.com
Donald Trump Claims He Hardly Knows Donald Trump Junior
Reprint from moronmajority.com
In an effort to distance himself from the infamous Trump Tower meeting attended by Donald Trump Jr., Paul Manafort, Jared Kushner and a group of Russian operatives, Donald Trump claims he hardly knows his son.
“The last time I had a serious conversation with Junior was many, many years ago, believe me. It could have been his wedding,” said the President. “As I’ve said many times, I knew nothing about the meeting, before or after. We just don’t talk about things.”
Though Trump’s claim sounds preposterous on its face, a recent Quinnipiac poll found that 87% of Trump supporters believe he doesn’t know his own son.
“Just because they have the same name doesn’t mean they are close,” said Melvin Scruggs, president of Alabama’s Talladega County Republican Committee. “I mean the kid was just doing his own thing, you know, freelancing.”
“If the president was really close to Junior he would have brought him into the White House like Ivanka and Jared,” added Scruggs. “Trying to claim Junior doesn’t do anything without his father’s permission is just more fake news.”
Trump’s latest attempt to downplay his personal relationship with his son follows the same pattern he used to minimize his close association to indicted or convicted former campaign members, namely: Paul Manafort, campaign manager, George Papadopoulos, policy advisor, Rick Gates, campaign aide and Michael Flynn, campaign advisor and former National Security Advisor.
While Trump’s attempted disassociation from his own son is selling well in Trumpland, one very important member of the FBI’s probe into possible collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia isn’t buying the story … Special Counsel Robert Mueller.
Photo | politico.com
Trump To Invite Putin To White House This Fall … No This Is Not Satire
If you’re Donald Trump, what do you do after your meeting with Russian strongman Vladimir Putin in Helsinki just a few days ago … a meeting that has been roundly condemned and denounced by both Democrats and Republicans?
What do you do after ex-CIA chief John Brennan says this of the press conference you held following your secret two-hour meeting with Putin: “Donald Trump’s press conference performance in Helsinki rises to & exceeds the threshold of ‘high crimes & misdemeanors.’ It was nothing short of treasonous. Not only were Trump’s comments imbecilic,he is wholly in the pocket of Putin.”
Why you invite the former KGB agent to the White House, of course!
Sticking to tried-and-true Republican tactics, when you’ve made an enormous mistake, you simply double down on your blunder. Admitting error is never an option for it is a sign of weakness.
Whether Trump will actually meet with the Russia Mafia boss responsible for the attack on our presidential election in 2016 (and who is poised to do the same in the 2018 midterms) remains to be seen.
But the sheer audacity!
I, along with many other writers, bemoaned the death of satire in the Age of Trump. When any snarky article you write can actually end up touching on reality, the jig is up. When obvious parody is believed by almost half of all Americans, what’s the point?
I doubt the Putin meeting will take place this fall, but not because Republican “leaders” will have a long talk with Trump. You know, something akin to, “Dear Mr. President the optics are so bad that maybe…”
No, I don’t think the meeting will take place because of what Robert Mueller is almost certain to make public soon about Trump and his criminal enterprise.
The man heading what Trump likes to refer to as a “witch hunt” is our last best hope for reclaiming many of the American values we’ve lost under the Trump regime.
Photo | taskandpurpose.com
Trump Nominated For Nobel Peace Prize … Seriously!
Proving once again that satire is no longer possible in the Age of Trump, a group of House Republicans has formally nominated Donald Trump for a Nobel Peace Prize because of his role in solving the North Korean nuclear problem.
The fact that the North Korean “nuclear problem” has not been “solved” did not seem to faze the 18 very conservative Congressional supporters who endorsed the idea.
Rep. Luke Messer, R-Ind., made the suggestion in a letter Wednesday sent to members of the Norwegian Nobel Committee.
Granted the rules for nominating someone for a peace prize are relatively loose, but come on!
Trump is the same guy who just recently ordered American bombing in Syria.
Trump is the same guy who wants to back out of the Iran nuclear agreement.
Trump is the same guy who wants to keep Muslims out of the country.
Trump is the same guy who called Haiti and African countries “shitholes.”
Trump is the same guy who wants more American nuclear weapons.
If a lasting peace can be brought to the Korean peninsula and North Korea gives up it nuclear weapons, then yes, Trump may be worthy of having bumbled and stumbled his way into receiving the prestigious award.
But anyone who knows a thing or two about North Korean understands how remote is such a possibility.
“The United States’ diplomatic goal – the denuclearization of North Korea in the near future – is far beyond what is realistically achievable,” warns James Acton of the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace. In a worst-case scenario, according to Acton, a failed negotiation could even act as “prelude to war” as tensions would invariably escalate in the aftermath.
Not only is talk of Trump and Nobel Peace Prize in the same sentence way premature, it is also ludicrous.
Perhaps all this buzz of Trump receiving the Nobel Peace Prize has something to do with his predecessor receiving the prize his first year in office. Ya think?
Photo | abcnews.go.com
French President Emmanuel Macron Set To Star In Head & Shoulders Ad
Thanks to the notoriety afforded him by Donald Trump, French president Emmanuel Macron has been signed by Proctor and Gamble to star in a new Head & Shoulders commercial.
Yesterday, as the two world leaders met in the Oval Office, Donald Trump made the surprise move of brushing a speck of dandruff from Macron’s shoulder.
Many are calling the episode “Dandruffgate” as there did not appear to be any dandruff on Macon’s jacket.
Nevertheless, because of Macron’s good-natured acceptance of Trump’s stunt, he has been rewarded by Proctor and Gamble with the starring role in a new TV ad for it’s best selling dandruff shampoo.
Macron said that in honor of Donald Trump, he is donating the proceeds from his advertising venture to Alzheimer’s research.
Photo | AFP PHOTO / ludovic MARIN
Mexico Agrees To Pay For Wall If Trump Releases Tax Returns
Reprint from moronmajority.com
Mexico has agreed to pay for Trump’s much-promised “big, beautiful” border wall. But there is a catch … Trump must first release his tax returns.
The idea is the brainchild of former Mexican president, Vincente Fox.
In a press conference announcing the surprise move on the part of the Mexican government, Fox was asked about his previous statement that Mexico would never pay for a wall.
“That is not correct,” said Fox. “I said Mexico would never pay for the fucken wall.”
“Look,” continued Fox, “this is a win-win situation. If Trump releases his returns, it’s adios amigo. Who knows what he’s hiding? I’m betting he’s on Putin’s payroll and doesn’t pay taxes. Now, if he doesn’t accept our muy generous offer, we know he is full of sh*t and doesn’t really care about the wall.”
But what it Trump does accept Mexico’s offer and releases his returns, wouldn’t that be a great loss of pesos for our southern neighbor?
Fox was ready for the question.
“Yes, it would cost us a lot of money but wouldn’t it be worth it to get that jackass out of office? It would be our gift to the American people and the world. And, by the way, we could build the wall, a pequena wall, muy cheaper than that idiota.”
Donald Trump has not yet responded to Mexico’s offer. A White House spokesperson did say Trump would consider the request once the IRS completes its audit of his tax returns.
Photo | cnn.com
Moronmajority.com is a political satire blog
Trump Looking To Add Vincent Gambini To Legal Team
Reprint from moronmajority.com
Within hours after the resignation of John Dowd as his lead lawyer in the FBI Special Counsel investigation, Donald Trump has asked Vincent LaGuardia Gambini to join his legal team.
Yes, Vincent Gambini is a fictional character played by Joe Pesci in the movie, “My Cousin Vinny.” This does not matter to Trump.
“Aren’t lawyers just frustrated actors?” questioned Trump.
“I need an aggressive lawyer like Vinny who will fight for me like he did for those two New York boys falsely accused of murder at the ‘Sac-O-Suds’,” said the 45th president of the United States. “Yes, I know Joe was just acting a part. What do you think I’m doing?”
“Vinny’s a great lawyer, believe me,” said Trump. “If he can fool Judge Herman Munster, he can more than handle Mueller.”
Asked if Vinny (Pesci) has accepted his offer, Trump said, “ No, not yet. But Gambinis are proud people. They believe in seeing justice done. Nobody, I mean nobody, pulls the wool over the eyes of a Gambini.”
Photo | women.com
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