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Defiant Group of Americans Vow To Disrupt Trump’s Birthday Parade

May 4, 2025 By John DeProspo 1 Comment

Reprint from moronmajority.com

Washington, D.C. — With the U.S. Army preparing what critics are calling a “Hail, Caesar! parade” for Donald Trump’s 79th birthday, a rebellious group of Americans has declared they will not stand idly by while tanks roll down streets and the birthday boy gulps down a Diet Coke from the grand stand.

“We must resist,” declared Ned ‘Bluto’ Crandall, the leader of the grassroots movement known as The Spirit of 76% Disapproval. “This is still our country and make no mistake – this war against fascism is far from over. We Americans don’t give up,” said Crandall, hand over heart. “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no!”

The group, composed of veterans, college professors, improv comedians and one guy who insists he once arm-wrestled Bernie Sanders, is still discussing what tactics they will use to disrupt the parade. 

Said Crandall, “We gotta take these bastards. Now, we could do it with conventional weapons, but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, what this calls for is some really futile and stupid gestures on our part.”

Some of the actions being considered are: throwing water balloons at the baton twirlers, having a drone fly overhead with the banner “No Tanks. Just Thanks (for leaving!)”; a line of mime performers pretending to be stuck in invisible walls in front of the tanks. One group member wearing a Roman toga, who only goes by the name of “Dorfman,” suggested something with marbles.

“We know there are risks and we might be arrested by Trump’s goons,” said Linda Narvis, a retired librarian and self-described human bullhorn. “But when democracy is threatened, we fight back. Because if we don’t stand up now, next year he’ll demand a birthday invasion!”

Image/ChatGPT

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: 79th birthday, Animal House, defiant Americans, Donald Trump, military parade, trump, U.S. Army parade

The Precarious Future of American Democracy: Will It Hold?

November 13, 2024 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

With the reelection of Donald Trump as President of the United States, many are grappling with an uneasy question: Is American democracy nearing its breaking point? Some are even pondering the unthinkable – will America soon join the ranks of other failed democracies? Trump, undoubtedly one of the most flawed and corrupt individuals ever to occupy the nation’s highest office, has demonstrated a willingness to disregard established norms and laws. This raises fears that in his next administration, Trump will push the boundaries of executive power so much as to turn our country, at the very least, into something less than a full democracy.  

Trump’s history of surrounding himself with loyalists, often at the expense of competence or accountability, suggests that his second term could feature a government stacked with toadies willing to carry out his orders, lawful or not. That quaint American concept of checks and balances may soon be relevant only in the context of bank statements. The potential for executive overreach seems almost inevitable, particularly if key institutions, such as Congress or the judiciary, fail to stop his worst impulses.

The rule of law, which has already taken some big hits, could be further eroded under another four years of Trump. Critics have pointed to the actions of the Supreme Court, which, under its current conservative majority, has issued controversial rulings that many view as politically motivated or dismissive of precedent. The perception of a judiciary compromised by partisan hacks erodes public trust and weakens one of democracy’s crucial guardrails.

The stakes could not be higher. A second Trump term will no doubt test the resilience of American democracy like never before. Many fear that Trump’s disregard for institutional norms, coupled with a fragmented political landscape and widespread misinformation, could create conditions ripe for “democratic” authoritarianism, much as is the case in Hungary. 

So, will American democracy survive? The answer, at this point, feels like a coin toss. On one side, the nation still possesses strong institutions, a free press, and an engaged populace—resources that have historically bolstered democracy in times of crisis. On the other side, growing polarization, declining trust in government, a corrupt Supreme Court, flourishing right wing disinformation outlets, and the potential for unchecked executive power represent existential threats.

America stands at a crossroads, with uncertainty looming over what this nation might look like after another four years of Donald Trump – if he even makes it to the end of his term! My hope is that Trump and his MAGA allies will overreach so drastically that even his most diehard supporters will push back, rallying to preserve what we still love to call “The Great American Experiment.”

Filed Under: featured, politics Tagged With: America, democracy, Donald Trump, end of democracy, four years of Trump, future, survival, trump

America’s Last Undecided Voter

September 14, 2020 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

Reprint from moronmajority.com*

With the presidential election less than two months away, battle lines have been drawn. Sides have been chosen. Americans know who they will be voting for … except for Earl Scruggs.

Scruggs has the distinction of being the last undecided voter in the country.

We at Moron Majority recently had the opportunity to interview America’s final fence-sitter.

MM: Mr. Scruggs, how is it with all the news about the two candidates you still haven’t decided who to vote for?

Scruggs: I don’t much listen to the news but I do talk to a lot of people. Seems like half are voting for Trump, half are voting for Biden.

MM: Did you vote for Trump in 2016?

Scruggs: Yes, but in 2008 and 2012 I voted for Obama.

MM: So, you really are a swing voter! What do you like about Trump?

Scruggs: I like that he loves the flag so much he dry humps it every chance he gets. I like Melania too, she’s one mighty fine-looking woman!

MM: What about Biden? What do you like about him?

Scruggs: I like Joe’s teeth. They must be the whitest teeth of any politician ever. I like that he smiles a lot, too.  Plus, I think his aviator shades make him look cool.

MM: Mr. Scruggs, what you’re talking about are appearances and behavior. Aren’t there any policy differences between the two that could help make up your mind?

Scruggs: Nope. To me all that policy stuff doesn’t matter because all politicians are the same. They’ll say anything to get elected. All they want is power and to get reelected. I go with what strikes my eye. I go with my gut. But, right now, it’s telling me to maybe just sit this one out.

So there you have it. Democrats and Republicans will be spending millions in the coming days to sway Earl Scruggs in what may turn out to be one expensive, but futile, effort.

Photo | baltimoresun.com

*moronmajority.com is a satirical site … seriously!

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: 2020 election, Biden, Earl Scruggs, last undecided voter, presidential election, satire, trump, undecided voter

Why Bloomberg’s Pitiful Performance In Vegas Might Prove He Made The Wrong Bet

February 20, 2020 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Mike Bloomberg, the former Republican, had a simple plan for becoming the Democratic presidential nominee … he’d just buy the nomination.

With his vast fortune, he would overwhelm his rivals with “saturation advertising.” He would not have to bother campaigning in the early primary and caucus states. The refined New York billionaire just isn’t another one of your Iowa corn-dog-eating politicians!

And for a while, the strategy was working. Bloomberg went from nowhere in the charts to second or third in some presidential polls.

But then came the moment he had to step out from behind his curtain of megabucks and onto the Las Vegas debate stage.

To say the billionaire was underwhelming, and showed major unpreparedness, would be putting it mildly.

Bloomberg was attacked from all sides with questions about his past that were so obvious you didn’t need to be a political strategist to predict them. He was hammered most effectively by Elizabeth Warren. She pounded him from the get-go with this classic burn, “I’d like to talk about who we’re running against: a billionaire who calls women fat broads and horse-faced lesbians. And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.”

Bloomberg has staked his run for the presidency on his sincere, intense desire to beat Trump in November. “The stakes could not be higher, we must win this election,” said Bloomberg. He called Trump an “existential threat to our country.”

It does not appear, however, that his effort to do so by trying to win (buy) the Democratic nomination was the way to go.

A better bet for ousting Trump would have been for Bloomberg  to run as a Republican – the party affiliation he had as Mayor of New York City. While he probably would not have beaten Trump for the party’s nomination, history has shown that incumbent presidents who face strong primary challenges are severely weakened by them. 

Did Bloomberg really think he could skate to the Democratic nomination by flooding the airwaves with ads bought by an unlimited reservoir of cash … what Democrats hate most about our post-Citizens United political landscape?

Okay, it’s only Bloomberg’s first debate and who watches them anyway? He might get better. His ad blitz is still effective.

But after his dreadful performance in Las Vegas, the belief that Bloomberg is the most likely Democrat to save us from another four years of Trump is seriously in doubt.

Photo | AP/John Locher

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: Las Vegas, Mike Bloomberg, poor performance, presidential debate, Republican, trump

Mitch McConnell – The Master Of Obstruction

February 2, 2020 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

In a perverse way, you’ve got to hand it to Old Mitch. He is the Leonardo Da Vinci of Gridlock. Has any other Senate Majority Leader done more to make sure nothing gets done?

McConnell’s skillful navigation of the choppy waters during Trump’s impeachment “trial” is just the latest coup for the man who proudly calls himself the” Grim Reaper.”

We should have known he’d be the High Priest of Hindrance the moment he announced that making Barack Obama a one-term president was his number one priority. Republicans were not going to cooperate with Obama’s legislative agenda, no way, no how. True to his word, it didn’t matter if Obama proposed ideas previously championed by Republicans, the President had to be stopped at every turn.

When it came to approving Obama’s nominees for federal judgeships, McConnell slowed the Senate confirmation process to a crawl. But it was Mitch’s blockade of Judge Merrick Garland from filling the Supreme Court seat vacated by Antonin Scalia that many are labeling his greatest moment of obstruction.

Mitch even boasted about it.

“One of my proudest moments was when I looked at Barack Obama in the eye and I said, ‘Mr. President, you will not fill this Supreme Court vacancy,’” McConnell said in 2016 to cheers at an annual Fancy Farm Picnic.

No other Leader of the Senate would even dream of attempting what Old Mitch pulled off. He’s a veritable Rembrandt of Resistance!

And now McConnell’s masterful blocking of witnesses during Trump’s impeachment “trial” may rival his Merrick Garland feat. It’s certainly as consequential, if not more.

Mitch McConnell, the five-term senator from Kentucky will no doubt go down in history as the greatest obstructionist leader of the Senate … and the man who may have singlehandedly killed the rule of law, the Constitution and American democracy.

Now that’s some legacy for the virtuoso stonewaller!

Photo | businessinsider.com

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: Barrack Obama, impeachment, judges, Merrick Garland, Mitch McConnell, obstructionist, Supreme Court, trial, trump

Our Democracy Is Just A Frog In Slow Boiling Water

January 31, 2020 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Our democracy is slowly slipping into fascism thanks to Trump and his Republican enablers. Will we realize we’re being cooked before it’s too late? Vote like the future of your country depends on it … because it does!

Photo | washington press/ occupy democrats

Filed Under: featured, politics Tagged With: boiling water, Constitution, death, democracy, frog, Republicans, resist, traitors, trump, vote

R.I.P. Political Satire – Republican Senator Asks Whether John Bolton Is Really A Firsthand Witness

January 28, 2020 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

Clearly we are living through some weird times. The line between the factual and the absurd just keeps getting blurred beyond recognition.

Satire is dead.

Senate Republicans have complained that all the evidence against Trump has come from people with secondhand, third-hand and even fourth-hand knowledge. Yet when Democrats asked, during Trump’s impeachment trial, to subpoena witnesses with firsthand knowledge of Trump’s alleged wrongdoing, all such requests were voted down along a straight party-line vote.

Then, over the weekend, the Bolton book bombshell hits the streets.  In the unpublished manuscript of his tell-all book, former national security advisor, John Bolton, says Donald Trump told him that he was withholding military aid to Ukraine in order to pressure Ukrainian president Zelensky to help him with political motivated investigations, i.e. dirt on the Bidens.

In a normal world this would be considered the ultimate firsthand knowledge … unless you could produce a witness who inhabited Trump’s subconscious!

But, no. Missouri junior Senator Josh Hawley is actually questioning whether John Bolton is that much-sought, indispensable witness.

When CNN’s Haley Byrd caught up with Hawley yesterday and asked why the Senate wouldn’t want to hear from Bolton, he replied, “Well, I don’t know. Is he a firsthand witness? I’m not sure.”

Folks, we have reached a point where writers of political satire need to just pack their bags and go ply their trade on some less absurdist terrain otherwise known as today’s political world. Well, at least until we can return to more normal times … if that is even possible.

Sorry, Mr. Borowitz, but it seems the current crop of Republican politicians may have put you, and all your clever fellow satirists, out of business.

Did you hear that Donald Trump is thinking of pardoning Charles Manson, Ms. Williamson?

Photo | washingtonpost.com

Filed Under: featured, politics Tagged With: firsthand witness, impeachment, John Bolton, Josh Hawley, political satire, satire, trump

After Bombshell Bolton Book Leak, Publisher Wants Full Return Of Advance

January 26, 2020 By John DeProspo 3 Comments

Reprint from moronmajority.com

According to an unpublished manuscript of John Bolton’s upcoming book obtained by the New York Times, the former National Security Advisor claims Donald Trump directly told him he would withhold military aid to Ukraine until Ukrainian President Zelensky agreed to deliver politically motivated investigations into the Bidens.

This may be good news for Democrats seeking to compel Bolton’s testimony in Trump’s impeachment trial but it is very bad news for Bolton.

It has been reported that Bolton’s multi-million dollar book deal with Simon & Schuster carried a whopping $2 million advance. The publisher now wants the money returned.

A spokesperson for Simon & Schuster says the value of the book was based on Bolton’s explanation of the “drug deal” he purportedly told Fiona Hill about, of which he wanted no part. Many assumed the comment related to the scheme Gordon Sondland and Mick Mulvaney were cooking up to pressure Zelensky into announcing investigations into the Bidens, Burisma. 

“The cat’s out of the bag,” said the spokesperson. “Who would want to read the book now?”

A close friend of the former Trump advisor has revealed Bolton doesn’t have the money, having spent it all on a high-tech security system for his Bethesda, Maryland home and on 24-hour bodyguards.

Photo | france24.com/abcnews.go.com

Warning – this could be “fake” nooze!

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Bidens, bombshell, book, Burma, John Bolton, leak, New York Times, satire, trump, unpublished manuscript

Please, Let’s Stop Calling What’s Taking Place In The Senate A Trial

January 23, 2020 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

As we are all transfixed on the spectacle taking place in the Senate, let us not dignify it by calling it a trial.

The Constitution gives the Senate the sole power to try a case of impeachment. In other words, to hold a trial.

A trial by its very definition is a formal examination of evidence before a judge; an exercise in seeking the truth. The basic structure normally follows this pattern:

  1. Opening statements
  2. Witness testimony and cross examination
  3. Closing arguments
  4. Jury deliberation and verdict

What’s taking place in the Senate is not a trial but a partisan, and some might add, unconstitutional, impeachment process. Senate Republicans voted down every effort by the Democrats to call witnesses (and produce documents, for that matter). 

As many have observed, a trial without witnesses is a sham; a coverup.

Oh yes, but aren’t they just following the Clinton impeachment model you ask?

Yes and no.

Yes, in the Clinton impeachment there was unanimous agreement among senators to vote on the need for witnesses after the trial concluded. But key witnesses had already given sworn testimony before the trial. The idea of not calling live witnesses during Clinton’s trial was mainly due to the salacious nature of the facts which gave rise to Clinton’s perjury.

But in Trump’s case, there is nothing indecent about any potential witness testimony … just plain old-fashioned abuse of power and obstruction.

House manager Adam Schiff put the difference between Trump and Clinton this way:

“If we’re really serious about modeling this proceeding after the Clinton trial, the Clinton precedent is one where all the documents had been provided, up front, where all the witnesses had testified, up front, prior to the trial. That is not being replicated by the McConnell resolution — not in any way, not in any shape, not in any form, far from it.

What the Senate is doing is flipping the meaning of “trial” on its head… conclude the presentation and then vote on whether witnesses and documents are necessary!

Look for Republican senators to vote down the need for witnesses at the end of the trial and for either a motion to dismiss or a quick vote leading to acquittal.

So, let’s just call what’s happening in the Senate what it is … a “presentation” by a group of Democrats seeking to uphold the Constitution and a group of Republicans willing to undermine our constitutional democracy. 

Photo | nypost.com

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: Constitution, coverup, documents, impeachment, Republicans, Senate, sham, trial, trump, witnesses

U.S. May Yet Get Its First Female President

June 20, 2018 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

President Pelosi… the title has a nice alliterative ring to it, don’t you think?

Yes, while the possibility of the California representative ever moving into the White House is slimmer than a germ’s chance at a Lysol convention, it’s fun, and heck downright delicious, to consider!

Here’s the scenario. First, Democrats regain control of the House (and maybe the Senate, for good measure) after the mid-term elections. Following explosive revelations by Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller of the Trump regime’s wrongdoing, the House impeaches both Trump and Pence. The Senate then votes to convict both and removes them from office at the same time.  Of course, House Democrats would have to vote Nancy Pelosi Speaker of the House once again. But as the next in line to the presidency, Pelosi becomes the nation’s 46th president.

If this farfetched scenario were ever to happen, it would not take place in 2018 but 2019, when the new Congress organizes in January. So the earliest this theoretical Democratic majority could consider articles of impeachment would be the start of the new year..

Hey, almost anything is possible, no matter how ridiculously unlikely. Remember when we all thought there was no way in hell we would ever mouth the words “President Trump?”

“Dreams, if they’re any good, are always a little bit crazy. ”
― Ray Charles

Photo | thehill.com

 

Filed Under: featured, politics Tagged With: conviction, election, farfetched, impeachment, mid-terms, Nancy Pelosi, Pence, president, Robert Mueller, speaker of the house, trump

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