The Daily Nooze

"All the news we deem fit to print"

  • Home
  • politics
  • satire
  • breaking news
  • Archives
  • Show Your Support
  • Opinion
You are here: Home / Archives for Tucker Carlson

Tucker Carlson Leaves Fox For Higher Calling

April 24, 2023 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Reprint from moronmajority.com

After years of being a prominent figure in the conservative media world, Tucker Carlson has made the shocking announcement that he will be leaving Fox News to pursue a new calling: the ministry.

Sources close to Carlson suggest that he is deeply troubled by the role he played in spreading fear, lies, conspiracy theories and disinformation during his time on television. He believes that he has a responsibility to atone for his sins and to help undo the harm he’s caused. 

“He’s been struggling with this for a while,” said a source who spoke on condition of anonymity. “He’s been talking to pastors and other religious leaders, trying to find a way to make things right.”

According to those same sources, Carlson’s decision to leave Fox News was motivated by his fear of going to hell.

“He’s always been a deeply religious person,” the source said. “But he’s been feeling more and more guilty about what he’s done. He’s worried that he’s going to spend eternity paying for the division he’s caused in our country.”

While some may be skeptical of Carlson’s sudden conversion, those who know him best say that he is sincere in his desire to repent and make amends.

“He’s a man of conviction,” said one friend. “He’s always been passionate about what he believes, and now he’s applying that passion to his faith.”

As for Fox News, the network is reportedly in a state of shock over Carlson’s sudden departure. After all, “Tucker Carlson Tonight” was the highest-rated cable news show for years. Fox has already started conducting a nationwide search to find a new host who is willing to take on the responsibility of spreading hate and lies to the American public.

“Whoever replaces Tucker is going to have some big shoes to fill,” said one Fox executive. “We need someone who can lie with conviction and fear-monger with the best of them.”

A replacement, however, might not be so difficult for Fox News to find. There are plenty of unscrupulous “newsmen” out there who have no fear of eternal damnation and would gladly sell their souls for some mega bucks.

As for Friar Tucker, our thoughts and prayers are with you, man!

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: fox news, higher calling, part ways, resignation, satire, the ministry, Tucker Carlson

Staring At Hard Times, Tucker Carlson May Be Forced To Sell Bow Tie Collection

June 14, 2020 By John DeProspo 3 Comments

Reprint from moronmajority.com

Things have not been going well for Tucker Carlson lately. The star of Fox News’ Tucker Carlson Tonight is losing more advertisers by the day over his increasingly inflammatory rhetoric about Black Lives Matter protests.  Most recently, it was T-Mobile and Papa John’s Pizza that pulled the plug on his show.

The situation has gotten so bad that the Fox News celebrity is contemplating the unthinkable … selling his large collection of bow ties.

For many years, the bow tie had been Mr. Carlson’s signature look. He started wearing the cravat in 1984 when he was in tenth grade at St. George’s, a Rhode Island prep school. 

When he became co-host for CNN’S Crossfire in 2001, representing the political right, Mr. Carlson was seen nightly wearing his iconic neckwear.

Mr. Carlson eventually made his way to MSNBC in 2005, where the producers advertised his show by creating posters that read, “The Man. The Legend. The Bow Tie.”

But after moving over to Fox News in 2009, Mr. Carlson decided to ditch the bow tie in favor of the more traditional necktie. Many observers speculated that the preppy appearance engendered by wearing the bow tie made him look like one of those snooty elites he rails against each night on his show.

Mr. Carlson’s collection of 450 classic, many one-of-a-kind, bow ties has been estimated to be worth $1.5 million by Christies auction house.

Photo | daily-choices.com

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: advertisers, Black Lives Matter, bow ties, fox news, loss of advertisers, moron majority, satire, sell, Tucker Carlson, Tucker Carlson Tonight

With Even Fox News Turning On Him, Trump’s Goose May Be Cooked

December 21, 2018 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Trump TV, otherwise known as Fox News, has, from day one, been Donald Trump’s greatest defender.

But recently, cracks have started to show in the wall Fox has built around our “so-called” president.

Yesterday Trump abruptly announced the U.S. would be withdrawing all its troops from Syria. And while both Democrats and Republicans roundly criticized the horrendous decision, you would have expected either silence or some mild support from Trump’s favorite “news” outlet.

Yet Brain Kilmeade of Fox’s “Fox and Friends” attacked Trump’s move in a segment that featured White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

Kilmeade pushed back on Sanders’ defense of Trump by saying the withdrawal is “giving Russia a big win.” He went on to add, “ He said President Obama is the founder of ISIS … [Trump] just refounded ISIS, because they’ve got 30,000 men there, and they’re already striking back with our would-be evacuation. The president is really on the griddle here.”

When Sanders offered a rebuttal and argued that Trump’s decision will not help ISIS, Kilmeade countered with a conclusion even a three year old might reach … “leaving is helping.”

Earlier this month, Tucker Carlson, a man who relishes attacking Trump’s critics, called out Trump for his boastfulness and for failing to keep his promises to voters.

“I don’t think he’s capable,” Carlson said in an interview with conservative Swiss magazine Die Weltwoche. “I don’t think he’s capable of sustained focus. I don’t think he understands the system. I don’t think the Congress is on his side. I don’t think his own agencies support him.”

If ever Trump’s favorite Fox personality and frequent advisor, Sean Hannity, starts telling you the border wall is a hoax and a complete waste of taxpayer dollars, gather up all your loved ones and run for the hills.

End Times may be near.

Photo | thedailybeast.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, politics Tagged With: Brain Kilmeade, criticism, Donald Trump, end times, Fox and Friends, fox news, Syria, Tucker Carlson, withdrawal

Recent Posts

What If Trump Had Not Accepted Biden’s Offer For An Early Debate?

Many political analysts love to talk about the two pivotal moments in the 2024 … [Read More...]

  • Republicans Sound The Alarm: Harris Administration Could Threaten to Pass Laws Most Americans Actually Want
  • Some Republicans Worried Country Not Ready to Elect First Convicted Felon as President
  • The GOP Is Stuck With Two Losers

Follow us online

  • Facebook

Advertisements

Navigation

  • About Us
  • Show Your Support
  • Guest Posts
  • Great Links
  • Contact

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Copyright © 2025 The Daily Nooze.com. All Rights Reserved. "All the news we deem fit to print"™