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In Trump’s Defense, Nobody Could Have Known Fighting A Pandemic Could Be So Complicated!

April 8, 2020 By John DeProspo 5 Comments

Donald Trump is a very smart man. Some people (namely, Donald Trump) have gone so far as to call him a “stable genius.”

Yet even this modern-day Einstein, who some people (namely, Donald Trump) keep telling us graduated at the top of his class at Wharton, was ambushed by the coronavirus.

The man who said recently he “should have been a doctor” due to his natural ability for science and because his “genius uncle” taught at MIT, now finds himself surrounded by a vicious virus that has attacked the country, and the world.

That such a brilliant leader, who some people (namely, Donald Trump) have praised for his “great and unmatched wisdom,” should find himself in such a difficult position is sobering.

As Trump said on Fox & Friends a little over one week ago, “Nobody could have predicted something like this.”

After all, the man is a da Vinci, not a Nostradamus!

Yet some critics are attacking Trump for his botched response to combating the virus once it hit the U.S. They say things might not have been so complicated if he just paid closer attention to the people around him.

They point to Trump’s trade advisor, Peter Navarro, who warned him in January the coronavirus crisis could cost the United States trillions of dollars and put millions of Americans at risk of illness or death.

They mention that U.S. Intelligence agencies, both in January and February, warned Trump of the nature and scope of the virus, and China’s apparent downplaying of its severity, as well as the potential need for the government to take measures to contain it.

They even bring up Dr. Anthony Fauci, the country’s top infectious disease specialist, who warned in early 2017 that a “surprise outbreak” would occur during Trump’s time in office, and that more needed to be done to prepare for a pandemic.

What Trump’s critics fail to understand, however, is that Donald Trump, who some people say has the “highest IQ” (namely, Donald Trump), has a plan for stopping the spread of the deadly virus. And someday, in his abundant wisdom, he will tell it to the American people.

Photo | insider.com/ Shealah Craighead/White House

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: botched response, coronavirus, Donald Trump, fighting virus, genius, pandemic, satire, so complicated, unmatched wisdom, warnings

Trump Warns Of Dire Consequences If He’s Not Re-Elected … Here’s The Complete List

June 16, 2019 By John DeProspo 1 Comment

Reprint from moronmajority.com

As he gears up for his re-election campaign, Donald Trump has warned that the U.S. would experience an epic stock market crash if he were not returned to the White House.

While this unsettling prediction has gotten the bulk of media attention, there are also a few other catastrophes Trump has warned about if a Democrat were to win the presidency in 2020.

Here is a list of what might take place, according to Trump, if a Democrat wins the next presidential election:

  1. Ordering fast food will require a doctor’s note
  2. C-SPAN will be the only TV channel
  3. Bacon will be outlawed
  4. Men will be required to change “doody” diapers
  5. “Merry Christmas” will officially be replaced by “Happy Holidays”
  6. Daily flossing will be mandatory
  7. Americans will be forced to eat five fruits and vegetables per day
  8. Conservatives will be banned
  9. Voters will only be able to cast their ballot if they can correctly name the three branches of government
  10. The Earth will be invaded by space aliens

Some are calling Trump’s warnings irresponsible and outrageous.  Others are saying it’s just Trump being Trump. You know, fear-mongering to juice up his base.

OK, Trump may have gone a little overboard with some of his predictions. It’s highly unlikely we will be invaded by spacemen from Mars … but, really, would it be such a bad thing if everyone flossed each day?

Photo | qz.com

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Donald Trump, fear-mongering, list of ten consequences, re-election, satire, stock market crash, warnings

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