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You are here: Home / satire / Somewhere In Springfield, Mary Todd Lincoln Is Rolling Over

Somewhere In Springfield, Mary Todd Lincoln Is Rolling Over

March 28, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

melania-trump-donald-trump-wife-reuters_650x400_51455339597

Imagine, if you will, Donald and Melania Trump in the White House. It’s 2017. A new day has dawned in American Politics. Welcome to your worst nightmare. Welcome to the Twilight Zone.

Donald – “Are you almost ready, Baby?”

Melania – “No. Still undressing.”

The scene is unfolding in the Lincoln bedroom where Melania is preparing for a photo shoot. She will be gracing the front cover of Trump’s new magazine, P.T. Trump (as in ”Perfectly Tremendous.”)

Donald – “I spoke with Henri, this spread will be very tasteful. Nothing to be nervous about. He is using a special lens to capture all your beauty.”

Melania – “Oh, Donald, really. This is not the first time I do this. Remember that great shoot on your yacht by GQ?”

Donald – “Of course Baby. But we’re going to make this a little more classy. After all, you are the new First Lady. I don’t want perverts to drool too much over that luscious body of yours.”

Melania – “Donald I think your Evangelical people might not like this so much, no?”

Donald – “Don’t worry Baby, I got the job. Nobody can fire me. I fire them.”

Melania – “As you say, you are always right. Can you hand me that flower? I think I stick it in my hair.”

Donald – “Baby don’t get me going with that stick it in the hair stuff. I’m thinking if this works out we can put some of these nice, but tasteful photos, into a presidential calendar. Will sell like hotcakes. You like that, Baby?”

Melania – “Yes. But maybe not so presidential, no?”

Donald – “Presidential my ass. I got elected because I do stuff like this. My people love me and expect it.”

With that, celebrated Penthouse photographer, Henri LaTour, positions Melania across the king size bed of the Lincoln bedroom.

Donald – “Hey Melania, just think this is the same bed Bill rented out to his donors when he was here.”

Melania – “Knowing Bill, I’m sure he used bed a few times himself, no?”

The shoot goes off without a hitch. Donald and Melania now get dressed to host their first White House state dinner with none other than the Vicar of Christ, Pope Francis.

Twilight Zone?

Photo | ndtv.com

 

 

 

 

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Filed Under: satire

Comments

  1. Frank Little says

    March 28, 2016 at 4:04 pm

    What about old Abe? I’m sure he wouldn’t like it either.

    Reply
    • John DeProspo says

      March 28, 2016 at 4:17 pm

      Are you kidding? That stud otherwise known as the “Lincoln Log?”

      Reply
  2. Brenda Gray says

    March 29, 2016 at 9:01 am

    I’m sure Bill made use of the Lincoln bedroom. But not with Hillary!

    Reply
    • John DeProspo says

      March 29, 2016 at 9:02 am

      Fer sur!

      Reply

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