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You are here: Home / satire / Transcript – Bernie’s Meeting With Pope

Transcript – Bernie’s Meeting With Pope

April 9, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

pope-francis-bernie-sanders

Rome, April 15, 2016 – After today’s inspiring speech at a Vatican conference hosted by the Pontifical Academy of Social Sciences, a scholarly association in Vatican City, Bernie Sanders had a private audience with the Holy Father, Pope Francis.

Below is a transcript of the meeting:

Sanders – “It is such a pleasure and honor to meet you, your Holiness.”

Pope – “You can just call me Fran, OK?”

Sanders – “Sure Holy Father… I mean Fran. It’s just that I’m a little nervous meeting with one of my heroes.”

Pope – “You are too kind, Signore Sanders.”

Sanders – “You can just call me Bernie, Sir … I mean Fran.”

Pope – “I like very much how you talk about income inequality in your country. The billionaires just care for themselves. Always want more, more, more.”

Sanders – “Yes, we have a serious wealth gap in the United States. The top 1/10th of 1 percent — not 1 percent — the top 1/10th of 1 percent today in America owns almost as much wealth as the bottom 90 percent.”

Pope – “I know. I listen to your speeches. Here we have cable. I get CNN.”

Sanders – “And I hear your speeches about our corrupt political-economic system. I really like it when you take on “trickle-down” economics… I think you called it a crock or something?”

Pope – “I called it the dung of the Devil. Now, Signore Sanders … I mean, Bernie, I hear you are a Jew but not a practicing Jew?”

Sanders – “That is correct. I believe that there is a connection between all living things, and that my belief in God requires me to do all that I can to follow the ‘Golden Rule,’ to do unto others and as I would have them do unto me.”

Pope – “Brava, Brava! You hit the nail, as they say, on top of the head!”

Sanders – “ Thank you Fran. People say my chances of becoming the next president, well, they say I don’t have a prayer.”

Pope – “I pray for you, Bernie. Let’s keep in touch. Here is my private email address, on my private server.”

Photo | dailynewsbin.com

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. David Lerner says

    April 9, 2016 at 6:18 pm

    Funny… to the Pope (79) Bernie is a youngster (74). But they are two of a kind.

    Reply
    • John DeProspo says

      April 9, 2016 at 6:20 pm

      Yes. I like to say they are “brothers from a different mother.” Share same worldview. Of course, Pope is constricted by certain Church dogma.

      Reply
  2. Jon says

    April 10, 2016 at 4:15 am

    Mr. Bernie Sanders rocks! There IS a connection between all living things. We are all one at the spiritual and psychic levels. So too in the flesh; we just have to remember it, and therein lies the challenge.

    “MIGHTY-ALMIGHTY LOVE!”

    Now I’ve been trying not to get discouraged
    And I’m not trying now to bring you low-
    But we must learn to face ourselves in the mirror of life
    Or one day soon we’re gonna’ overload

    Now you must first love, respect and honor
    Every little thing about yourself-
    Coz’, if God has told us once to love our neighbor
    Then He has told us twice to love ourselves

    Now I keep trying not to get discouraged
    And I keep tryin’ not to get too low-
    But we must learn to face ourselves in the mirror of life
    Or one day soon we’re gonna’ overload

    And, oh my God!, I hope the people are listening
    Coz’ only love can save this troubled world-
    The future belongs to the little children
    To all the mighty little boys-n-girls

    Do your best!-
    For the rest!
    (Help us, Father! Help ussssss!!!!)

    Jon Bond (C.) 4.2016

    Reply
    • John DeProspo says

      April 10, 2016 at 8:30 am

      Right on! Great stuff, Jon.

      Reply

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