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You are here: Home / satire / Jeb Will Attend Republican Convention After All

Jeb Will Attend Republican Convention After All

April 20, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush reacts to a question at the Mountain Shadows Community Center in Las Vegas Monday, March 2, 2015. Bush distanced himself from his family on Monday as he courted senior citizens in Nevada, the first stop in a national tour aimed at key states on the presidential primary calendar. (AP Photo/Las Vegas Sun, Steve Marcus)

After announcing he would skip his party’s nominating convention this summer, Jeb Bush has had a change of heart.

Even with Trump’s blowout win in New York, Jeb is now convinced the TV celebrity and real estate mogul will not have enough delegates to win on a first ballot. Most pundits are saying that is the only way Trump could secure the Republican presidential nomination.

“After some soul searching, and doing some math, I realize my party needs for me to be there. It looks like we will go through a long hard fight to pick our party’s nominee. I want to help in any way I can.”

When asked if that meant making himself available as a possible presidential choice, Jeb would only give a vague answer. “I will do whatever may party asks me to do.”

How ironic if the party’s favorite at the start of the nominating process goes on to secure the nomination!

“I think Hillary Clinton is beatable, very beatable. Her negatives are through the roof. If elected, she would have the highest negative rating of any president, in either party, in history.”

It is rumored that Jeb was persuaded to attend his party’s convention by none other than his big brother, George W. If through some miracle Jeb does become his party’s nominee, the word is out that the former president reminded Jeb no Bush has ever lost an election for president. Well, except Papa Bush losing in 1992 to Bill Clinton. Dubya was never a stickler for detail.

When asked in a different way if he might be his party’s white Knight come to save his party from what appears to be a looming food fight, Bush was a little more direct.

“Look, if the convention is going to result in mayhem and we are on our 32nd ballot, I would seriously think of accepting the nomination if it were offered to me.”

The way this election year is shaping up for the GOP, a 32nd ballot may not be out of the question … and the much dreaded Clinton v. Bush contest might become a reality.

(AP Photo/Las Vegas Sun, Steve Marcus)

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Comments

  1. Bill Saget says

    April 20, 2016 at 10:30 am

    Clinton V. Bush… Clinton v. Bush ! Yes!

    Reply
    • John DeProspo says

      April 20, 2016 at 10:31 am

      I say odds of that happening are 500- 1.

      Reply
  2. Jon says

    April 20, 2016 at 2:13 pm

    “Jeb Bush, ladies and gentlemen! Living proof that miscarriages do survive!” – Jon B.

    Reply
  3. Frank Little says

    April 20, 2016 at 8:17 pm

    I miss Jeb’s incompetency.

    Reply

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