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Archives for May 2016

GOP On Suicide Watch

May 22, 2016 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

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After the Republican establishment’s failed effort to derail Donald Trump’s bid for its party’s presidential nomination, it now appears most GOP elites are rallying behind the egomaniacal, loose-cannon billionaire who has singlehandedly hijacked the party of Lincoln.

Yes, there are some party stalwarts, such as the three Bushes: Jeb, George W. and George H.W, and former presidential candidate, Mitt Romney, who refuse to bow down to their party’s presumptive nominee. But many of the “Never Trump “crowd are now willingly boarding the RMS Titanic at pier one.

It’s as though the party’s firmament – social and intellectual conservatives, the donors and lobbyists – have been forewarned that the cruise ship’s maiden voyage would result in disaster but they board anyway because the outrageously expensive tickets are non-refundable.

Take former Republican presidential candidate, Rick Perry. In a moment of clarity, he went so far as to describe Donald Trump as a “cancer” on the conservative movement. Now he has enthusiastically endorsed that cancer. (Rick Perry Endorses Cancer)

“I believe in the process,” Perry said during an interview with CNN, “and the process has said Donald Trump will be our nominee and I’m going to support him and help him and do what I can.” Hint: I’m available for VP.

But perhaps the biggest sea change in the anti-Trump movement may be taking place among the donor class. During the primary, Trump made it clear how he felt about the Republican Party benefactors, arguing they had far too much influence and vowing not to court and woo them. While this, no doubt, left a bad taste in their mouths, as they contemplate the prospect of another Clinton in the White House, many of the GOP’s most wealthy donors are coming around to financing Trump’s campaign.

The most powerful elected Republican, House Speaker Paul Ryan, has still not boarded the doomed ocean liner, hedging his support for Trump with “I’m not there right now.” But look for a détente between the two Republicans fighting for the soul of the GOP.

It is only a matter of time before Ryan realizes he has no choice but to fully back Trump and go down with the ship. Even though all signs point to a political debacle in November that may result in the death of the GOP as we know it, as one Republican operative put it, “What choice do we have?”

Photo | history.com

 

 

 

Filed Under: politics

Wayne Newton To Headline Republican National Convention

May 21, 2016 By John DeProspo 3 Comments

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In keeping with the character of his “reality show” presidential campaign, Donald Trump has announced he wants this year’s Republican National Convention in Cleveland to be more glitz and glam than the usual boring fare.

While no formal announcement has been made, the Trump camp is promising nights of star-studded entertainment.

“I’m going to put on a convention like you’ve never seen before, I promise you that. It’s going to be beautiful,” said the presumptive Republican presidential nominee. “You know I have a lot of friends in showbiz who offered their services to me.”

A schedule of the four-day event has, nevertheless, been leaked. Here are the headliners that will rock Cleveland in July:

July 18th – Opening night. Donald Trump has gotten his good friend and supporter, Wayne Newton, to open the festivities. Said Mr. Las Vegas, “Should be a fun gig. I hear they are expecting a crowd of over 50,000. I have to say, Donny is a good bet to win it all.”

July 19th – Day Two. Look for Magician David Copperfield to wow the crowd with his magic act. “I’ve known Donald for years and am a big fan. He has asked that I do one of my vanishing tricks. He wants me to make the fear some convention delegates have about nominating him go “poof!” said Copperfield.

July 20th – Day Three. Realizing a little comedy never hurt, Trump will have comedian George Lopez bring laughter to some in the crowd who might still be a bit somber about a Trump nomination. “Donny thought a Mexican comedian would eventually help him with Hispanics in the general election. That gringo, always thinking!” said Lopez.

July 21st – Closing night. The Convention closes with a bang with four of Trump’s biggest musical supporters: Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, Loretta Lynn and Kiss frontman, Gene Simmons. Said Trump, “I wanted a little bit country and a little bit of rock and roll. My fans span all kinds of musical tastes, you know.”

Between all that entertainment, the Republican delegates will have to get down to business and elect their 2016 presidential nominee, Donald J. Trump. The convention promises to be a ratings bonanza for the networks and is sure to set a new standard for political conventions going forward.

Be wary Debbie Wasserman Schultz!

Photo | vtheaterboxoffice.com

 

 

 

Filed Under: satire

The Disunited States Of America

May 20, 2016 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

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It is becoming more apparent, with each passing day, that what we consider “our country,” America, is more of a myth than a reality – just a collection of fifty countries, otherwise known as “states,” each having its own identity, its own laws.

Yesterday, the state of Oklahoma passed a bill making abortions within the state a felony. The only thing stopping the bill from becoming law is the signature of Republican, Gov. Mary Fallin. The patently unconstitutional bill passed the Oklahoma House of Representatives with a vote of 59-to-9 last month. On Thursday, the state’s senate passed it with a vote of 33-to-12. The thinking among the legislators must have been that the U.S. Constitution does not apply to the country of Oklahoma.

In Alabama, despite a ruling by a federal judge in Mobile making same-sex marriage legal, and in the face of a United States Supreme Court ruling last year making its legality the law of the land, Supreme Court Chief Justice, Roy Moore, instructed probate judges throughout Alabama to ignore those higher courts and to refuse to issue licenses to same-sex couples.  The thinking there must be that the U.S. Constitution does not apply to the country of Alabama.

And then there is Texas! A state that has threatened for years to pull itself away from the “Union” and officially become the sovereign nation it has always felt itself to be.

Throughout our “nation,” state laws are being passed making it a crime for transgenders using the wrong bathroom; voters are being prevented from exercising their constitutional right to cast a ballot; women are being restricted from seeking medical procedures constitutionally guaranteed and the poor are being denied free healthcare by states that reject the federal government’s largesse.

It has been 155 years since the Civil War tested the concept of whether separate states could exist as one nation, under one supreme law. As Lincoln observed at Gettysburg, “Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived, and so dedicated, can long endure.”

When states act as independent contractors and fail to respect, and obey, the constitution that knits them together as one country, the whole concept of one nation falls apart.

There has always been a tug of war between states and the federal government; between federal laws and states’ rights. But the concept of one nation “under god” has not been undermined, for quite some time, as it is today.

So much for that grand concept of “E Pluribus Unum” … the idea of a nation of very different kinds of people united by a common passion for freedom, equal rights and democracy.

Today, some have actually questioned whether a Trump presidency could spark another civil war, likening the billionaire to Jefferson Davis more than the fascist, Benito Mussolini. There certainly are enough muskets out there!

Breaking News – Gov. Fallin has vetoed the bill making abortions a felony within Oklahoma. Said Fallin, “The bill is so ambiguous and so vague that doctors cannot be certain what medical circumstances would be considered ‘necessary to preserve the life of the mother.'”

Photo | bluerepublican.org

Filed Under: politics

Never Underestimate A Political Clown

May 18, 2016 By John DeProspo 14 Comments

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For all those giddy Democrats thanking their lucky stars that Donald Trump is about to become the Republican presidential nominee, I have two words … George Bush. Yes, Dubya was more like the village idiot than a buffoon; a political puppet propped up by neocons that could easily pull his strings, but a political incompetent like Trump, nonetheless.

Donald Trump today called President Obama “The worst president in U.S. history.” This came in response to comments the President made during his commencement speech at Rutgers University this past Sunday.

“Class of 2016,” said Obama, “let me be as clear as I can be. In politics and in life, ignorance is not a virtue. It is not cool to not know what you’re talking about. That’s not keeping it real or telling it like it is. That’s not challenging political correctness. That’s not knowing what you’re talking about.”

While never mentioning Trump by name, the graduating class knew exactly who the President was referring to… the presumptive Republican presidential candidate, Trump.

Of course the President is correct in saying ignorance in not a virtue. But to many Trump supporters, ignorance is just plain bliss. They don’t care how ridiculous the proposals or incoherent the speeches, Trump supporters just love their man. (For Trump Supporters its Unconditional Love)

Like George W. Bush to his supporters, Donald Trump is a man who can relate to the common folk; a man John Q. Public would love to have a beer with (in Trump’s case, perhaps a glass of champagne?). Intelligence … competence … experience … political rectitude? Fuggetaboutit!

While Trump, a con man, a joker and “king of the birthers,” is poised to becoming the Republican Party’s presidential standard-bearer may seem like a Democrat’s wet dream, let us not forget that a hard-drinking frat boy with little intellectual curiosity, or grasp of the English language, was twice elected president.

The moral here is never underestimate the power of a dolt in a society largely made up of uninformed, incurious, anti-science, anti-knowledge individuals.

Birds of a feather tend to flock together.

Democrats, be careful what you wish for. Remember, Bush was first elected in the year 2000. Sixteen years later and you most definitely have a greater dumbing down of Mr. John Q. Public.

Photo | businessinsider.com

 

 

Filed Under: politics

List Of Top 20 Celebrities Supporting Donald Trump

May 11, 2016 By John DeProspo 7 Comments

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While Democrats like to believe Trump supporters are just a bunch of low-information, willfully ignorant Fox News sheeple, there are a number surprising names on Donald Trump’s fan list. Here is a list of the top twenty celebrities supporting the billionaire/TV star for the highest office in the land:

WARNING – View this list at your peril. You might lose respect from some of your favorite stars!

  1. Fran Drescher
  2. Stephen Baldwin
  3. Mike Ditka
  4. Tom Brady
  5. Charlie Sheen
  6. Owen Wilson
  7. Kid Rock
  8. Kurt Russell
  9. Gene Simmons
  10. Bruce Willis
  11. Mike Tyson
  12. Loretta Lynn
  13. Wayne Newton
  14. Gary Sinise
  15. Jon Voight
  16. Kirstie Alley
  17. Scott Baio
  18. Pete Rose
  19. Kelsey Grammer
  20. Clint Eastwood

As a rule, celebrities and Hollywood types tend to lean left. But every rule has expectations. I am not implying all the names listed above are far-right, card-carrying conservatives. The truth is Trump, on many issues, swings from left, to right… all the way to the bizzaro world. His philosophical  makeup is hard to pin down because he has no core political principles. Perhaps that is why so many voters, including celebrities, love their Trump. Chaos, in a weird way, has a certain level of appeal.

Photo | ranker.com

 

 

Filed Under: politics

McCrory Doubles Down On “Tinkle Down” Politics

May 10, 2016 By John DeProspo 8 Comments

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Ronald Reagan pushed the notion that if you made the wealthy richer, crumbs would “trickle down” to the less fortunate thereby generating economic growth. This economic theory came to be known as “Reaganomics.” Some opponents, however, derisively called this sham, “tinkle down” economics … a conservative economic system that essentially tells the poor and middle class, “piss on you!”

Today, thanks to North Carolina Gov. Pat McCrory, “tinkle down” has a whole new meaning.

When Gov. McCrory signed into law a bill regulating which bathrooms transgender people could use within the state, he stirred up a hornet’s nest. The fallout from the new “tinkle down” law was not only political but also financial. Major corporations labeled it discriminatory, saying it ran counter to their principles of equality and mutual respect for all citizens.

Since the law’s enactment just over one month ago, North Carolina has lost millions in revenue from conventions cancelled, concerts scrubbed and family vacations rebooked.

If this weren’t bad enough, yesterday, after having been given an ultimatum to repeal the law or else, North Carolina chose “or else” and was swiftly sued by the Justice Department.

Said Attorney General, Loretta Lynch, “This action is about a great deal more than just bathrooms.  This is about the dignity and respect we accord our fellow citizens and the laws that we, as a people and as a country, have enacted to protect them – indeed, to protect all of us.  And it’s about the founding ideals that have led this country – haltingly but inexorably – in the direction of fairness, inclusion and equality for all Americans.

Rather than see HR2 (as the anti-LGBT bill is formally known) for what it is – unconstitutional, unnecessary, and counterproductive, Gov. McCrory decided to “double down” by taking on the Justice Department over the law’s repeal. Now the people of North Carolina can add millions in wasted legal fees to the cost of discrimination.

North Carolina is not alone in passing a useless law for a problem that doesn’t exist. Other Republican-controlled legislatures have followed suit or are planning to do so.

If Republicans have shown themselves to be good at one thing, it is never admitting error. Look for this legal battle to find it’s way to the Supreme Court.

Bobby Jindal, in a moment of clarity, labeled his party, the “stupid party.” Boy does the GOP have its hands full these days with stupid stuff!

Photo | youtube.com

 

Filed Under: politics

Hats Off To Donald Trump!

May 9, 2016 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

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The presumptive Republican presidential nominee, Donald Trump, has announced sales of his “Make American Great Again” hats have just crossed the $4 million mark. The marketing genius humbly admitted he is stunned by the success of the campaign headgear.

“I’m amazed but so proud of the job my people did with these hats,” said Trump.

When asked what he thought accounted for the hat’s big success, Trump replied, “It’s the message. We need to make this country great again. We have to start winning again. Been losing for way too long. Plus, I must say, the fact that the hats are beautiful and come in twelve different colors helps.”

When questioned if he is making a profit on the hats, Trump quickly snapped, “Why of course! We make them for $3 a pop in a factory in Mexico and sell them retail for $25. You do the math.”

Trump said the profits from his hats all go to his reelection campaign fund.

“But what if you don’t get elected?” I timidly asked. Trump, always the optimist, said, “Me lose to the most hated Democratic candidate in history? I don’t think so.”

Trump revealed that he has many marketing ideas once he and Melania occupy the White House.

“I’m seriously thinking of turning the back White House lawn into a pitch and putt. You know, for our Lincoln bedroom guests. But unlike those shysters, Bill and Hillary, there will be no charge for staying over night. We will, however, request a small contribution to the Trump presidential library.”

“But my best idea,” said an excited Trump, “is a White House calendar featuring our new First Lady, Melania, in tasteful poses throughout our new home. The keyword here is ‘tasteful’, nothing trashy your car mechanic would put up on his wall.”

“I gotta tell you,” said Trump, with a contented look on his face, “My wife may be 46 but I must say she is still every bit a 10. She will be the most beautiful, classiest First Lady this country’s ever seen!”

While Trump was thrilled at the success of his hats, he admitted he was very disappointed in his T-shirt sales.

“Perhaps if those nincompoops down in Mexico didn’t screw up the order, I wouldn’t be stuck with 80,000 shirts! Who wants a “Make American Grate Again” shirt, you tell me!”

Photo |news2morrow.com

 

Filed Under: satire

Rick Perry Endorses Cancer

May 7, 2016 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

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During his brief run for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination, Rick Perry tired something different- an image makeover. To give himself the aura of an intellectual, a candidate with gravitas, he started wearing glasses. In the end, no one bought the chicanery. Everyone realized he was the same guy who, during his last presidential run in 2012, got tripped up during a debate trying to count to three – his infamous “oops” moment.

On September 11, 2015, during a conference in Missouri, and still sporting the new bespectacled look, Perry formally announced his withdrawal from the presidential race. The thing is, much of what Perry said that day, and during most of his short run, made perfect sense!

Two months after Trump entered the Republican race, Perry compared the billionaire/TV celebrity to a “cancer” on the conservative movement.

Said Perry, “Let no one be mistaken – Donald Trump’s candidacy is a cancer on conservatism, and it must be clearly diagnosed, excised and discarded. It cannot be pacified or ignored, for it will destroy a set of principles that has lifted more people out of poverty than any force in the history of the civilized world – the cause of conservatism.”

While still the four-eyed candidate, Perry often stressed he was “offended” by Trump’s comments about Mexico sending rapists and drug dealers to cross the border. After Trump questioned John McCain’s record as a war hero (Trump likes people who aren’t captured) Perry called on Trump to drop out of the race, saying the attack made him unfit to be Commander-in-Chief.

Perry, still wearing specs, also made this sagacious comment about the presumptive Republican presidential nominee: he “offers a barking carnival act that can best be described as Trumpism: a toxic mix of demagoguery and mean-spiritedness and nonsense that will lead the Republican Party to perdition if pursued.”

During his exit speech, Perry wisely observed, “We can secure the border and reform our immigration system without inflammatory rhetoric, without base appeals that divide us based on race, culture and creed… Demeaning people of Hispanic heritage is not just ignorant, it betrays the example of Christ. We can enforce our laws and our borders, and we can love all who live within our borders, without betraying our values.”

Perhaps this was indeed a new, smarter Perry? Maybe the voters gave up too early on the two-time presidential contender? Maybe the glasses transmitted a level of rationality to his brain?

Or maybe not.

Yesterday, the former Texas governor endorsed cancer for president – Donald J. Trump.

“I believe in the process,” Perry said during an interview with CNN, “and the process has said Donald Trump will be our nominee and I’m going to support him and help him and do what I can.” Hint: I’m available for cancer VP.

News reports failed to say whether or not Perry was wearing his glasses when he made his surprising endorsement.

Photo | cbsnews.com

 

 

 

Filed Under: politics

Not So Fast, Dems

May 6, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

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Before all you Democrats start hooting and hollering; before you thank your lucky stars that Donald J. Trump will be the Republican presidential candidate, you need to press the pause button.

Yes, Trump is an intellectual and political lightweight compared to Hillary but as we have seen before, the smartest kid in the class doesn’t always come out on top. The bookworm is almost never the most beloved classmate.

If Hillary and her handlers think they can beat Trump by attacking his lack of political experience, his lack of policy chops, the absurdity of his proposals, or his overall lack of gravitas, they better go back to the 2000 Bush v. Gore election and do a little boning up.

Could the Republicans have come up with a more intellectually uncurious, academically challenged presidential candidate than George W. Bush? A “gentlemen’s C” student at Harvard never given to deep thought or deep knowledge of anything other than perhaps oil and baseball. Yes, it was going to be a sure win for the  scholarly, politically experienced Al Gore and the Democratic Party.

We all know how that went down.

The turning point in that race came during the first presidential debate. As Bush answered questions in less than a clear and intelligible manner, the camera kept focusing on Gore and his facial expressions. Gore was caught rolling his eyes, shaking his head, frowning and sneering. He was deemed the clear loser of the debate not on the content of what he said but on his body language!

Gore came off at that first debate as the intellectual snob who only has condescension for the less gifted competitor. A veritable Mr. Goody two-shoes. Certainly not the type of guy you’d want to have a drink with! Now Georgie… there’s a guy who can relate to the common folk! Gore tried to change his style in later debates but it was too late. The mold was set right then and there.

What Hillary has to understand is that Trump supporters, many involved in presidential politics for the very first time,  are excited and motivated. They have shown themselves to not care a whit about policy positions or realistic proposals. If she goes too hard on asking exactly how he would build his wall or deport 11 million illegals, she is playing into Trump’s hands.

Today’s voters are anti-establishment, both Republican and Democrat. They do not want a Washington insider to occupy the White House. And can one be more of an establishment insider than Hillary?

Voters favor Trump because he is not a politician corrupted by political experience or lobbyists’ money.

Hillary, more than Trump, is the candidate who needs to rebrand herself. It will be a tough task, for sure. You can bet Trump will paint Clinton as a crooked political insider, bought and paid for by big money. He will go where Sanders has tried to go but in a  more Trumpian (ruthless) way. “Why won’t you show us the transcript of that speech you gave to Goldman Sachs for $250,000, Hillary? What are you hiding?”

If Hillary comes off as the next Al Gore, Democrats will be in big trouble. We just might be looking at President Trump.

Photo | youtube.com

 

 

Filed Under: politics

Trump v. Clinton … This Could Get Ugly

May 5, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

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Barring some seismic shake-up within the Democratic Party, the 2016 presidential race will be a match between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.

During the Republican primaries, Trump has displayed a knack for belittling his opponents by branding them with simple, derogatory nicknames. We got, “Low-energy” Jeb, “Little” Marco and “Lyin” Ted.

What put down will Trump come up with for Hillary? What nickname will he saddle her with? My money is on Trump going full misogynistic. He will attack Hillary’s looks. If I had to guess, Trump’s nickname for Clinton will be “Grandma” Hillary.

You can almost hear these insults being hurled at Hillary:

You know, folks, “Grandma” Hillary would be the second oldest president in our country’s history, just after Reagan. Do we want to see “Grandma” Hillary turn into Golda Meir right before our eyes?

Even in her prime, Hillary was never more than a 4.

With Hillary in the White House, it will be pantsuit city. Can you imagine her at formal state dinners? Nothing like how Melania will look as First Lady, I’ll tell you that!

I gotta tell you. I feel sorry for Bill. Guys you know what I mean..

Hardly a face for Mt. Rushmore, don’t you agree?

I have many friends who are plastic surgeons. They all say plastic surgery can only go so far.

Look at that face! Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president? (Fiorina reprise)

Of course none of this will help Trump with the female vote. But Trump just doesn’t care. As of now, his mysogynistic rants have not hurt him. They have actually helped him among his largest bloc of primary voters, under-educated males. This will not be the case in a general election, however.

I have no doubt Trump will play the “gender/looks” card. The man just won’t be able to help himself.

Trump supporters have already come out with one pretty offensive campaign button:

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Yes, the battle between Trump and Clinton could get ugly… fast.

Photo | thegatewaypundit.com

 

 

 

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