Melania and Donald … Under One Roof but Separate Bedrooms?

Now that Melania Trump has finally moved from her gilded Fifth Avenue tower to live with her husband in Washington D.C., people are anxious to know her thoughts on living in the White House.

The First Lady was kind enough to grant The Daily Nooze an interview.

TDN: “First Lady Melania, thank you for granting us this exclusive interview. First question, how does it feel to be back with your husband?”

First Lady: “Oh, very tremendous. This house is amazing. So much history and character.”

TDN: “Do you have any plans for redecorating the master bedroom?”

First Lady: “Nyet … I mean, no. I will be sleeping in Lincoln Bedroom while Donald will sleep in master bedroom.”

TDN: “I must say many people will be surprised to hear this. It will further fuel gossip that you and the President are not getting along.”

First Lady: “Oh, no. That is fake news. I just have taste for things antique, that’s all. Ask any of my friends, they will tell you. I love old things. Just like my Donald. He turned a happy 71 yesterday.”

TDN: “But the fact is the two of you will be sleeping apart. People will talk.”

First Lady: “I do not care what people think or say. Donald and me are very fine. We lived apart the last five months and we both were very happy.”

TDN:” Besides the historical ambiance, why is the Lincoln bedroom so special to you?”

First Lady: “Oh, many reasons. But biggest is thrill of sleeping in the same bed as a great president. What a tremendous feeling! You know Mr. Lincoln he freed the slaves.”

At that point in the interview, the president’s chief of staff, Reince Priebus, stepped in, pulled the First Lady aside and ended the discussion.

First Lady, “I say something wrong, Reincy. No?”

Unfortunately, there was no time to ask First Lady Melania about her pet project: easing the suffering and heartache of high school valedictorians that are rejected by their first-choice Ivy League schools.

Photo | nytimes/Ken Cedeno/Corbis

Yes – this article might be fake … well, some parts!