Reprint from moronmajority.com
WASHINGTON — In what legal scholars are already calling the most delicious acquittal of the year, a D.C. jury has found a man not guilty of assault after he threw a sandwich at a federal agent.
Sean Dunn, a former Justice Department paralegal, faced a single charge of hurling his Subway sandwich at a federal officer in protest of what he called “the federal takeover of my city.”
Prosecutors argued the twelve-inch sub constituted a “blunt object with extra gabagool.” The defense countered that it was merely “a peaceful expression of lunchtime dissent. Something more deli than deadly.”
The verdict marks a blow to prosecutors, proving once again that while you can indict a ham sandwich, you apparently can’t convict one.
Sources inside the courtroom said the jury refused to “throw the cookbook at him,” declaring the government’s case “half-baked and poorly seasoned.”
It’s safe to say Sean, because of his launched lunch, has become something of a local hero. Supporters are already calling him The Earl of Sandwich Resistance, and there’s talk he might soon land a lucrative gig as Subway’s new spokesman — assuming corporate approves his new slogan:“Taste Freedom — You Fascist.”
Are we sure it wasn’t a Jersey Mike’s sub. Imagine Sean and Danny DeVito having a contest of throwing subs vs ICE agents. Wowowow
Jersey Mike’s subs are more lethal …remember, they’re a sub above!
I do wonder if they could have charged the man with littering. And in some places, feeding wild animals is illegal. If those federal agents go wild….