Sarah Palin, former half-governor of Alaska and John McCain’s VP pick in 2008, was invited to the White House yesterday by President Donald Trump. Palin brought with her two of her close friends, rockers Ted Nugent and Kid Rock.

In a post on her website, Palin said she invited the musicians “because Jesus was booked.”

Trump’s invitation to the woman also known as “Mama Grizzly” and the “Queen of the Word Salad” was not just social as the two were said to have discussed some important issues.

One of the topics discussed was Trump’s campaign promise to build a wall along the Mexican border. The President was eager to get Palin’s take on the financing for such a huge undertaking now that Mexico has flat out refused to pay for the structure.

“Mr. President,” said Palin, “you are a master builder, businessman and negotiator. Why not do what you are so good at? Hire workers to build the wall and then just refuse to pay them?”

On a more immediate and serious note, the North Korean crisis was also discussed.

Palin was asked by the commander in chief how he should deal with the North Korean madman Kim Jong-un.

“Once again, Mr. President,” offered Palin,” you need to do what has always worked for you in the past. Invite him to Mar-a-Lago for a weekend of golf. You’ve said yourself some of your best deals have been made on the golf course. I’m sure you can smooze the dictator into giving up his nuclear weapons. And, anyway, I bet Mar-a-Lago’s “beautiful” chocolate layer cake will be a hit with Kim.”

Word is now spreading around the White House that Trump is considering replacing his top adviser, Steven Bannon, with Palin.

Following her visit, the president praised Palin for her “common sense solutions” to otherwise thorny issues.

“Sarah can cut through some serious problems like nobody else,” said Trump. “She’s a natural at problem solving. And she isn’t so bad to look at. OK, maybe no longer a 10 but a solid 8, believe me.”

Photo | talkingpointsmemo.com

Caution: this may be fake news!

For decades, scientists have tried to come up with an explanation for what makes Americans tick politically. Why are some people conservative while others liberal/progressive? Why do some identify as Republican and others Democrat?

In a landmark study, scientists have finally unlocked the mystery to this age-old riddle. In a biological trial involving 538 Americans, researchers have found the answer lies within our DNA. The deciding factor is a gene being called the “empathy gene.” Those that had the gene all identified as Democrat, while those lacking the gene all labeled themselves Republican.

“This is truly a giant breakthrough in our understanding of the human mind,” said the study’s director, Dr. Robert Schwartz, “Perhaps now each side of the political spectrum will stop sniping at one another. People simply are who they are. They cannot be shamed or cajoled into adopting the other’s point of view. It’s as simple as that.”

“For those individuals carrying the ‘empathy gene,’ the ability to understand or feel what another person is experiencing, especially one less fortunate, is hardwired. He or she has the capacity to place oneself in another’s shoes,“ said Schwartz. “For those lacking the gene, everything is viewed from a more personal perspective. How will this affect me? What’s in it for me? It is basically every man for himself.”

The study found the lack or presence of the “empathy gene” cut across ethnic, racial and socioeconomic lines. This helps to explain how a Wall Street billionaire and a coal miner in West Virginia can both describe themselves as conservative.

Surprisingly, most in the study group who identified as Christian lacked the “empathy gene.”

Already the study is causing an uproar, with profound implications. If we are programmed to either care or not care about others, especially the poor among us, what hope is there for a more egalitarian, humane and just society? Is there longer any reason to argue with Uncle Henry at family dinners about the virtue of free school lunches for the underprivileged?

The hope among scientists is that the new research will help make us more tolerant, not less, of political differences.

But already some right-wing pundits have started to disparagingly call the newly discovered gene the “GAS” gene, as in who “Gives A Shit.”

Photo | frank.jou.ufl.edu

Caution – this article may be fake news!

Donald Trump turned down an invitation by the Washington Nationals to throw out the ceremonial first pitch at their season opener on April 3 against the Miami Marlins.

The refusal to participate in what has become a presidential tradition going back to President William H. Taft is baffling to many. Wasn’t it Donald J. Trump who boasted he was the “best baseball player in New York” when he was young?

Below are the top 10 reasons why Trump declined to throw the first pitch:

1. It could bring back childhood taunts he “threw like a girl.”
2. His offer to throw out a golf ball instead of a baseball was nixed by the team.
3. He is afraid of splitting his pants.
4. He was warned against the idea by Chris Christie.
5. He is concerned the ball might slip out of his small hand.
6. It’s hard to throw wearing a long, over-sized coat.
7. His bone spur makes it hard on his plant foot.
8. The mound isn’t elevated enough for him.
9. His long red tie might cause him to trip.
10. He might be booed in a city that gave him only 4% of the vote!

For the record, the White House has said Trump has a “scheduling conflict” that makes him unavailable.

Photo | totalprosports.com

With the ever-deepening Russian scandal looming over him, Donald Trump, on Friday, introduced a new member to the White House … his dog. Some say this is a calculated move to deflect attention from the controversy surrounding his administration and to endear him to dog lovers everywhere.

“I’d like for you all to meet my new best friend, Boris,” said Trump. “He is a mix Black Russian Terrier and Mexican Chihuahua.”

The adorable pooch was an instant hit with the assembled White House press corps..

One journalist asked Trump if he named his dog after the late Russian president, Boris Yeltsin.

“No,” said Trump. “I named him after my favorite childhood cartoon character, Boris Badenov, from the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.”

If Trump’s aim was to distract the press from the political storm engulfing his presidency, he missed the mark.

“Sir, with all due respect, and with all that’s going on, should you be naming your dog after a fictional Russian spy?” asked an intrepid reporter.

“When are you people going to understand this whole Russian thing is a ruse perpetrated by Obama and the Democrat Party?” snapped Trump. “It’s a set-up to distract the American people from all the fabulous accomplishments of my administration.”

“Why aren’t you reporting about the illegal Obama wiretapping of my office at Trump Tower?” asked the new president.

Someone yelled out from the back of the room, ”Because it is not true. Only yesterday James Comey, your FBI director, asked the Justice Department to publicly reject your wiretapping allegation.”

Trump pretended not to hear the reporter’s answer. Instead, he took a biscuit out of his pocket and threw it up in the air. Boris, eyeing the treat, jumped to snatch it.

“Boris and I are going to be best friends and the American people are going to love him as much as me,” said the newly-minted dog lover. “They just have to get to know him.”

“I have to admit, I was never a dog person, but just look at that face!” exclaimed Trump as he prepared to leave with Boris for another weekend golf trip to Mar-a-Lago.

Photo | ohmldog.com

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How a person eats his steak matters. If we had known Donald Trump likes his meat well-done … and with gobs of ketchup … he might still be just another crass billionaire.

Food experts say eating steaks with even a little bit of red in them is better than eating steaks without. It’s a simple matter of science, a chemical and physical truth … the result of an alchemy of fat and protein and salt, and the way matter transforms when subjected to heat, and the way our bodies connect the chemicals of taste to the chemicals of pleasure.

Of course, we now know Trump’s fondness for science and facts. Very tenuous. Sad.

It seems Trump persists in eating shoe-leathery meat despite, no doubt, the urgings of steakhouse chefs, well-intentioned servers, friends, family, critics, thousands of magazine articles, hundreds of cookbooks, and the entire collective wisdom of thousands of years of gastronomy, all of whom saying Try it, you’ll like it. 

But no, Trump is too stubborn to try something different. If only there had been some forewarning!

A person who won’t eat his steak any other way but well-done is a person who won’t entertain the notion that there could be a better way. This is a bad trait for anyone, especially a president.

For the President of the United States of America, a man who is the most powerful person in the world, to categorically reject external input can be disastrous.

“It’s only steak” you say. But no, it’s actually much more. It’s everything. It’s a choice to silence experts who suggest a different way, to dismiss their course corrections, to reject the very notion that expertise outside one’s own can have value!

But we should have known our headstrong president eats food in non-recommended, unorthodox ways.

In 2011, long before he entered the presidential race, Trump was spotted having lunch with Sarah Palin at a New York pizzeria.

The life-long New Yorker ate his pizza with a fork and knife!

Photo | firstwefeast.com

Donald Trump criticized Barack Obama for the amount of golfed he played while president. Now, Trump is coming under heavy criticism himself for the amount of times he has hit the links in only his first month in office.

As of last week, Trump has golfed three weekends in a row … six rounds in 30 days! Because of the apparent hypocrisy, Trump’s staff has tried to down play the number of times our new president has teed it up.

This past weekend, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, a top White House press aide, told reporters Trump had played “a couple of holes” Saturday and Sunday. In truth, Trump played 18 holes with four-time major champion and third ranked player in the world, Irish golfer Rory McIlroy.

When confronted by an intrepid reporter about the inordinate amount of golf he has been playing, Trump replied, “golf is all about business.”

“I play with world leaders and other important people,” said the president. “Some of my best deals have been done on the golf course. When I’m golfing, I am working for the people.”

The reporter asked Trump if he considers Rory McIlroy a world leader.

“No, but he is a very important person,” said Trump. “ I plan to build my presidential library on a golf course. And what better place than Ireland? That’s what Rory and I talked about.”

The president was asked if there was any truth to the rumor he would be inviting Pope Francis to Mar-a-Lago for a weekend of golf. The two men have been at odds with each other ever since Trump entered the presidential race.

“Yes,” said the commander in chief. “ I am inviting the Holy Father to play a round with me. But we have a strict dress code at our club. The Pontiff must wear golf pants and a collared shirt. No dresses are allowed … for both women and men.”

The odds are great that, if Trump remains in office for two terms, he will outnumber the rounds of golf played by two of our nation’s most golf-addicted presidents … Woodrow Wilson at 1200 rounds and Dwight Eisenhower at 800 rounds.

Trump’s staff may try to cover-up the amount of golf he is playing, but they need to do what Trump is rumored to do on the course … improve their lie.

Caution – some of this story may be “fake news”

Photo | latimes.com

With the growing controversy, and confusion, surrounding Michael Flynn’s resignation as Trump’s national security advisor, many Americans were hoping this might merit a hearing within the House of Representatives.

People want to know if Gen. Flynn was asked to offer up his resignation because of his improper, maybe treasonous, contacts with Russia prior to Trump assuming office or was he asked to leave because he ‘inadvertently briefed the Vice President Elect and others with incomplete information regarding … phone calls with the Russian Ambassador.”

House Oversight Committee chairman, Utah Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R), is not too concerned about the growing political brouhaha. He believes investigating the Flynn matter, at this point, is unnecessary since it is “taking care of itself.”

Chaffetz did not, however, rule out a probe at a later date.

“Our schedule is pretty much set right now. We will begin our next hearing into Hillary Clinton and Benghazi early next week. Once that is done … we’re hoping by the end of the year … we will look into the Flynn matter, if it is still an issue.”

Caution: This could be fake news

Photo | washingtonpost.com

Candidate Donald Trump promised jobs for the American people. “I’ll be the greatest president for jobs that God ever created,” said Trump on the campaign trail. And in a small way, he has already delivered on that promise. President Trump has created a ton of work for lawyers.

Trump’s controversial, thinly disguised Muslin travel ban has not only kept immigration lawyers busy, but he has also given lawyers practicing in the federal courts a shot in the arm.

NBC reports that Trump has been named in over 50 lawsuits, since the inauguration. That’s over 50 lawsuits in two weeks. To put that in context:

Since being sworn in Jan. 20, Trump has been named in 52 federal cases in 17 different states, according to the Administrative Office of the United States Courts. Comparatively, Barack Obama was named in three and George W. Bush and Bill Clinton were each named in four cases between Jan. 20 and Feb. 1.

And it does not appear this trend will be ending any time soon. Legal analysts are already predicting Trump’s White House stint will go down as the most litigated presidency of all time.

Of course, Trump has been kind to lawyers ever since he got into real estate development. According to USA Today, during Trump’s decades-long business career, he has been named in more than 4,000 suits, either as a plaintiff or defendant, in everything from fraud claims and contract disputes to defamation cases.

Talk about job creation!

For years, there has been talk of America being a nation of too many lawyers. The storyline has revolved around too many law students and too few legal jobs. This lawyer glut, we’ve been told, is causing heavily indebted graduates to work non-legal, sometimes menial,  jobs. Thanks to the new president, that may all be changing.

No one is sure if Trump will make good on his promise to bring back manufacturing jobs. There is serious doubt coal mining work will be returning any time soon. Some blue-collar workers are even starting to believe they’ve been duped by the man they thought would save them.

While it remains uncertain for the country as a whole, Trump is well on his way to making the legal profession great again.

Photo | KCRG.com

It was only a matter of time. But, to his credit, Donald Trump waited until his second week in office before utilizing the power of the presidential pen to ban political satire.

Yes, Trump’s 135th (to date) executive order makes it illegal to poke fun at political figures, in general, and the President of the United States, in particular.

“Politics is no joking matter,” said the most thin-skinned man to occupy the Oval Office. “From here on out, we are going to treat our politics with dignity and respect.”

The new executive order is not sitting well with the nation’s top comedians and political satirists, as one would expect.

“WTF,” said Jon Stewart, former host of Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show.” “I mean WTF?”

Stephen Colbert, host of CBS’s “The Late Show,” was simply in shock.

“What am I going to do now for material?” asked Colbert. “With Trump, the jokes practically wrote themselves!”

Lorne Michaels, executive producer of SNL (Saturday Night Live), perhaps took the news the hardest, “We finally started seeing our numbers improve and now this? We were back on top.”

The Emmy Award-winning Michaels was actually telling the truth and not resorting to “alternative facts.” Thanks to Trump’s improbable presidential run, and election, SNL got back some of it’s lost mojo. It took 2016’s political chaos and spun it into TV gold. The show set record ratings numbers and won critical praise for its many Trump skits.

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC’s “The Tonight Show,” had a more measured response.

“Yes, we had some fun at Donald Trump’s expense. I actually thought he was a fan of the show and was cool with all the good-hearted ribbing. But, as they say, all good things come to an end. We’ll survive.”

As we have seen with some of Trump’s executive orders, this one might also be subject to rescission or modification.

Trump has been quoted as saying “all publicity is good publicity; all press is good press.”

Our new president just might miss being in the comedy spotlight, even if he is being demeaned.  At least everyone is talking about you, right?

Indeed, some have said Trump’s greatest fear is to be ignored.

Caution … this might be satire

Photo | nydailynews.com