It was only a matter of time. But, to his credit, Donald Trump waited until his second week in office before utilizing the power of the presidential pen to ban political satire.

Yes, Trump’s 135th (to date) executive order makes it illegal to poke fun at political figures, in general, and the President of the United States, in particular.

“Politics is no joking matter,” said the most thin-skinned man to occupy the Oval Office. “From here on out, we are going to treat our politics with dignity and respect.”

The new executive order is not sitting well with the nation’s top comedians and political satirists, as one would expect.

“WTF,” said Jon Stewart, former host of Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show.” “I mean WTF?”

Stephen Colbert, host of CBS’s “The Late Show,” was simply in shock.

“What am I going to do now for material?” asked Colbert. “With Trump, the jokes practically wrote themselves!”

Lorne Michaels, executive producer of SNL (Saturday Night Live), perhaps took the news the hardest, “We finally started seeing our numbers improve and now this? We were back on top.”

The Emmy Award-winning Michaels was actually telling the truth and not resorting to “alternative facts.” Thanks to Trump’s improbable presidential run, and election, SNL got back some of it’s lost mojo. It took 2016’s political chaos and spun it into TV gold. The show set record ratings numbers and won critical praise for its many Trump skits.

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC’s “The Tonight Show,” had a more measured response.

“Yes, we had some fun at Donald Trump’s expense. I actually thought he was a fan of the show and was cool with all the good-hearted ribbing. But, as they say, all good things come to an end. We’ll survive.”

As we have seen with some of Trump’s executive orders, this one might also be subject to rescission or modification.

Trump has been quoted as saying “all publicity is good publicity; all press is good press.”

Our new president just might miss being in the comedy spotlight, even if he is being demeaned.  At least everyone is talking about you, right?

Indeed, some have said Trump’s greatest fear is to be ignored.

Caution … this might be satire

Photo | nydailynews.com

House Speaker Paul Ryan has invited President Trump to address a joint session of Congress on Feb. 28, giving the new president his first opportunity to outline his agenda in front of the gathered representatives and a national audience.

Trump’s speech will not be a State of the Union Address. That will have to wait until January or February 2018.

In preparation for Trump’s February speech to Congress, and for later State of the Union addresses, Trump’s staff has received authorization from the General Services Administration (GSA) to improve the lighting within the congressional chamber.

New lighting, in the form of flashing red and white rectangles, will be installed throughout the House of Representatives chamber in order to help members better know, and find, their places within the large hall.

Photo | NYTix.com

Conned again… dang it!

Photo | pinterest.com

It is not hard to understand why a growing number of Democrats say they won’t be attending President-elect Trump’s inauguration in just a few days.

Many Democrats are boycotting the ceremony in support of Rep. John Lewis of Georgia after he was dissed by Trump in an all too familiar Twitter rant.

Lewis, the civil rights icon, explained last week why he will be missing the first swearing-in ceremony since first coming to Washington.

“I don’t see this President-elect as a legitimate president,” Lewis told NBC News’ Chuck Todd. “I think the Russians participated in helping this man get elected. And they helped destroy the candidacy of Hillary Clinton.”

In what has become as predictable as mullets in NASCAR, the soon-to-be leader of the free world could not let Lewis’ comment slide.

“Congressman John Lewis should spend more time on fixing and helping his district, which is in horrible shape and falling apart (not to mention crime infested) rather than falsely complaining about the election results. All talk, talk, talk – no action or results. Sad!” tweeted the thin-skinned President-elect.

But now there is word that two senior Senate Republicans, John McCain and Lindsey Graham, will also miss Trump’s big day.

Unlike the Democrats who are avoiding the ceremony in order to make a political statement, McCain and Graham say they have “scheduling conflicts.”

Sen. Lindsey Graham has a scheduled cruise to Barcelona aboard the Allure of the Seas. There is widespread speculation it is an all-male cruise.

Sen. John McCain will be attending a birthday party on January 20. It will be his grandfather’s 125^th birthday celebration. Said McCain, “Our family is like that old Timex commercial … we take a licking but keep on ticking.”

Some fellow Republicans are questioning the true motives of the senators sometimes known as the “Two Amigos.”

“I know for a fact,” said Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell,” Lindsey’s cruise is fully refundable and could be rescheduled. I also know McCain’s grandfather said he would be willing to push back his big birthday party a day or two. Heck the man still buys green bananas!”

McCain and Graham are two of the most vocal Republican senators who have opposed Trump’s dangerous bromance with Russian autocrat Vladimir Putin.

Coincidence?

Editor’s Note – This could be fake news!

Photo | politico.com

Sarah Palin, former vice-presidential candidate and half-term Alaska governor, is angry.

“That bumper sticker that maybe you’ll see on the next Ford F-150 driving by — a Trump bumper sticker — you should stop the driver and say, ‘So how’s that swampy, drainy thing workin’ out for ya?'”

The once loyal Trump supporter has gone rogue, having jumped off the bandwagon after being snubbed for a cabinet position by the new incoming president.

Palin is taking pleasure in mocking Trump’s campaign promise to “drain the swamp” in Washington D.C. of lobbyists, corruption and pay-to-play.

A quick look at Trump’s cabinet picks suggests the much-used slogan of “drain the swamp” was just that … a slogan to attract the gullible. Instead of protecting the man on the street, Trump is protecting the men on Wall Street. Two of Trump’s picks, Wall Street insider Steve Mnuchin as head of the Treasury Department and investor Wilbur Ross at Commerce, suggest instead of draining, Trump is augmenting.

The word on the street is that Palin had her heart set on being tapped for Secretary of State. After all, she did have some foreign policy experience. During her run for vice president, Palin boasted she could see Russia from her backyard in Wasilla, Alaska.

Any chance of being part of the Trump administration, in any capacity, was lost when Palin publicly slammed Trump for breaching Republican orthodoxy of letting the free market pick winners and losers.

Palin criticized Trump’s deal with Carrier — which purportedly kept 1,000 jobs in Indiana instead of moving them to Mexico, but which still sent 1,300 jobs from a second shuttered plant anyway — calling it “crony capitalism.”

Palin penned an op-ed for the website Young Conservatives, where she blasted Trump for giving Carrier subsidies to keep some of its jobs within the United States.

Who knows what the future holds for Sarah Palin. Certainly a 2020 presidential run is not out of the question.

Trump should have known better than to upset a mama grizzly. Don’t be surprised if Palin’s next line of attack against Trump is that he is an illegitimate president!

Warning – This just might be satire!

Photo | malialitman.com

After praising his ten-year-old son’s computer skills, the President-elect has named Barron Trump his cyber security adviser.

In a tweet, the soon-to-be president of the United States lauded his son while at the same time proposing a solution to cyber espionage:

“I have a boy who’s ten years old, he can do anything on the computer. You want something to really go without detection, write it out and have it sent by courier.”

Many opponents feared a Trump presidency would set the country back. Very few, however, envisioned the return of the Pony Express.

Photo | inquisitr.com

With Donald J. Trump today having been officially elevated to our nation’s highest office by a group of loyal, patriotic, “party-over-country” electors, America’s future looks bright again.

After eight years of enduring the failed presidency of Barack Hussein Obama, Americans are hungry for a change. And with Trump now set to become our nation’s 45^th president on January 20, 2017, true Americans will finally get their country back.

The voters who picked our new “outside-the-beltway” president, over the loathsome, hopelessly experienced Hillary Clinton, sent a clear message to the Democrat Party on November 8^th. They had had enough of a president who, in eight years, failed to get U.S. troops involved in a new war. Certainly Obama had his chances, they point out. Plus voters have never forgiven Obama for ending a perfectly good war in Iraq in 2011.

When Hillary Clinton promised voters she would continue, and build on, the policies of the Obama Administration, she effectively made herself unelectable. Voters did not want to add to the Obama disasters they’ve had to suffer through over the last eight years:

1. Jumpstarting the economy during the worst recession since the Great Depression.
2. Passing the Dodd-Frank Act, which holds Wall Street accountable in the event of another financial crisis.
3. Saving the American auto industry.
4. Passing the Affordable Care Act that now insures 32 million previously uninsured Americans.
5. Overseeing a stock market that has nearly tripled in value.
6. Creating over 15 million new jobs.
7. Reversing Bush’s torture policies.
8. Authorizing the raid that killed Osama Bin Laden.
9. Leading the fight on climate change.
10. Signing a landmark nuclear deal with Iran.

No sir, Donald Trump has promised to reverse all of Obama’s disastrous polices as soon as he takes office.

Trump, the billionaire celebrity and entrepreneur, has promised to bring back millions of jobs that have left the U.S. He will not, however, be bringing those overseas jobs that produce his many products as they never were made in the U.S. to start with.

As Trump has promised the American people, they will start winning again … so much so they will be sick and tired of winning.

For many giddily anxious Americans, the Trump presidency cannot start soon enough.

USA! … USA! … USA!

Photo | REUTERS/Carlo Allegri

In a startling announcement, president-elect Donald Trump has named convicted felon, Bernie Madoff, to head the Treasury Department.

During his first press conference since winning the presidency, Trump told a group of journalists he is pleased to have such a skilled and knowledgeable man in his cabinet.

“I’ve known Bernie for quite some time and I can tell you, believe me, he is the good Bernie,” said the soon-to-be 45^th president of the United States.

As would be expected, a reporter asked Trump how he could choose a man serving a 150-year prison sentence as his treasury secretary? Trump was quick to respond.

“As president, I will have the absolute power to pardon anyone I want to, especially someone who was wrongfully convicted by the mainstream media and liberal judges. Just look at all the felons Bill Clinton pardoned during his presidency,” said Trump.

“I don’t know anyone who is better with money than Bernie. He made tons of money for his investors, both in good times and bad times,“ added the president-elect.

When it was pointed out to Trump that Bernie Madoff ran a Ponzi scheme which usually rewards early investors while leaving later stakeholders holding the bag, Trump replied, “Investing, like everything else, is all a matter of timing. Nothing is guaranteed. There are always winners and losers.”

“Look at my case,” said Trump. “If I had run for president four years ago, I probably would not have won. My timing was excellent. I ran against one of the most hated establishment politicians of all time, ‘Crooked Hillary.’ Plus, I have to say, it helped having so many Republican-controlled states pass voter suppression laws making it harder for Democrats to vote.”

“Haven’t you just admitted you won the election through voter fraud?” yelled out a fearless reporter. “No,” answered Trump, “ there was no voter fraud, just suppression, two different things my amigo.”

Reached for comment at the Butner Federal Correctional Institution, the 78-year-old Madoff was thrilled to hear the news.

“I have always felt my career as a financier was not over. I look forward to bringing the skills I developed in my personal business to the country as a whole. … just like president-elect Trump promised to do for the country what he has done for most of his businesses.”

No one can deny Trump is the master at turning bankruptcies into gold … for himself.

Disclaimer: This story may be fake… or not!

Photos | marketwatch.com; abcnews.go.com

Photo | historynewsnetwork.org

OK. So you are dreading Thanksgiving dinner with your family for the first time in your life. The idea of sitting around a table for three hours with a family of Trumpites is making you sick. Instead of looking forward to some of your favorite foods you are dreading the ribbing you will surely be subjected to.

At a time like this, it is best to heed the sound advice offered in the movie classic, Animal House.

After Delta Tau Chi pledge Kent Dorfman (Flounder) foolishly agrees to let his fraternity brothers use his brand new Lincoln for a road trip (after it had been entrusted to him by his brother for the weekend), he starts sobbing like a baby when he later sees the car is a wreck. In an effort to soothe Flounder’s feelings, Delta brother John Blutarksy (Bluto) thrusts a six-pack into his hands and offers up these immortal words:

“My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.”

Some heavy drinking is just what’s called for this Thanksgiving. Instead of going for the turkey, try hitting the Tangueray. You are guaranteed to forget your woes and, for a short time at least, forget that Donald Trump is our president-elect.

Animal House’s brother Bluto was so right. What’s the use of crying over spilled milk? The election is over. The damage has been done. There is nothing you can do but accept it. So let your family gloat about their man. Once properly plastered, nothing will matter as nothing will register.

Then it will be on to next Thanksgiving when all the talk will be about our new president, Mike Pence.

Photo | youtube.com