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Trump High On Daughter Ivanka

April 12, 2019 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

In an interview with The Atlantic, Donald Trump couldn’t help but gush over his favorite daughter Ivanka.

The proud papa said he had considered nominating her to lead the World Bank.

Trump also considered her for U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations.

“She’s a natural diplomat,” said Trump.

As for the future, Trump thinks the sky’s the limit for Ivanka.

“If she ever wanted to run for president, I think she’d be very, very hard to beat,” Trump added.

Trump praised his daughter for possessing “a great calmness.” Of course, he added that’s “usually a genetic thing.”

Surprisingly, Trump admitted he considered naming his son Barron to head the Navy. Said Trump, “He watches a ton of Popeye cartoons, you know.”

Of course this last statement is not true. Right?

Photo | mediaite.com

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: ambassador, Barron, Donald Trump, Ivanka Trump, president, satire, the Atlantic, United Nations, World Bank

Trump May Have A Formidable Primary Opponent For 2020

April 2, 2019 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

Reprint from moronmajority.com

For the first time in GOP presidential primary history, Republicans may have a choice between the greater of two evils … Trump or the Prince of Darkness. This could present a difficult choice for many Evangelical voters.

However, this would certainly be a welcome development for Democrats seeking to regain the White House.

Image | Occupy Democrats

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: 2020, Donald Trump, evangelicals, Republican primary, Satan, satire, split, vote

Trump Fans Ecstatic Over Possible Loss Of Health Insurance!

March 27, 2019 By John DeProspo 1 Comment

Reprint from moronmajority.com

Donald Trump is at it again … delivering for his base!

As Sarah Kliff of Vox reports, “This week, his Justice Department filed a legal brief arguing that a judge should find Obamacare unconstitutional — a decision that would turn the insurance markets back into the Wild West and eliminate Medicaid coverage for millions of Americans. By at least one estimate, a full repeal could cost 20 million Americans their health care coverage.”

Oh, and on an even greater note, doing away with Obamacare would once and for all eliminate protections for people with pre-existing medical conditions!

What a week for Trump supporters! First his handpicked AG, William Barr, gives Trump, as he has boasted, “a complete and total exoneration” from any collusion or obstruction of justice, and now, the complete repeal of Obamacare? For Trumpsters, it just doesn’t get any better than this!

Well, maybe it could. Another round of tax cuts for corporations and billionaires would definitely add to their festive mood!

Photo | therobertreport.net

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Donald Trump. Obamacare, gullible base, healthcare, loss of insurance, Obamacare lawsuit, Repeal, satire, Trump supporters

Let’s Face It Donnie, She’s Just Not Into You

March 2, 2019 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

Unrequited love can be a bitch!

Photo | Carolyn Kaster AP Photo

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: CPAC, Donald Trump, dry hump, flag, hug, humor, restraining order

Why Donald Trump Should Release His College Grades

March 1, 2019 By John DeProspo 1 Comment

As part of his testimony to Congress the other day, Michael Cohen revealed that, at the direction of Donald Trump, he threatened to sue any school or college that released his boss’s academic records.

The Daily Nooze has been able to confirm that at least one outside academician, Dean Vernon Wormer, has seen Trump’s college transcript. In a succinct, blunt assessment, Wormer has divulged Trump’s GPA “stinks!”

Perhaps Trump is being overly sensitive about revealing his below average marks. Some advisors are recommending Trump make public his college grades, as that will most likely further ingratiate him with his mostly unschooled base.

After all, Trump has said, “I love the poorly educated.”. And they, sure as heck, love one of their own!

Photo | youtube.com

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: academic records, college transcript, Dean Wormer, Donald Trump, GPA, grades, Michael Cohen, release, satire

Trump Misses Mark … Only Ranks Third In List Of (Worst) Presidents

February 14, 2019 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Reprint from moronmajority.com

In the latest Siena College Research Institute survey, Donald Trump is ranked the third worst president of all time after Andrew Johnson (who was impeached) and James Buchanan (whose presidency was followed by the Civil War).

The sixth Siena survey, which started in 1982, asks 157 presidential scholars, historians and political scientists to rank the presidents according to 20 different benchmarks.

For the first time, George Washington is ranked as the greatest president, beating out Franklin Roosevelt, who had topped every previous survey. The top five have remained the same since the survey’s inception, which includes Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt and Jefferson.

Surprisingly, George W. Bush climbed six spots to 33rd while Barack Obama slipped two spots to the 17th greatest president.

For a man who desperately wants to be number one in everything, finishing third must be a huge disappointment. Trump, however, might take comfort in knowing that most average Americans pick him the worst president ever.

Who knows? With still some time left in office, Trump’s ineptitude just might get him to the number one spot when the next Siena survey rolls around.

Photo | thedailybeast.com

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Donald Trump, George Washington, Siena College Research Institute, Survey, third worst, worst president

Putin Thanks Huckabee Sanders For Compliment

January 31, 2019 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

Russian leader, Vladimir Putin, lauds White House Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, for once telling the truth.

Photos| news.sky.com, politics.theonion.com

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Donald Trump, God, God wanted Trump, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, satire, Vladimir Putin

Putin Offers Reassurance To Old Friend

January 18, 2019 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

As the walls close in on him (ironic, n’est-ce pas?), Trump gets comforted by his boss.

Photo | express.co.uk

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Donald Trump, impeachment, New York, reassure, satire, Senate, Vladimir Putin

Trump Serves Up Some More Red Meat … This Time To Carnivorous College Athletes

January 15, 2019 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Reprint from moronmajority.com

The man who is best-known for serving red meat to his base is today receiving flak for literally serving red meat to a bunch of college football players.

Yesterday Donald Trump, in the White House dining room, treated the Champion Clemson Tigers football team to a fast food extravaganza of burgers from America’s finest fast food establishments … McDonalds, Wendy’s and Burger King.

Critics have called Trump’s artery-clogging smorgasbord “tasteless”, but the young men seemed to enjoy their meal.

There is some dispute as to how much red meat was actually served. The number of burgers went from an original estimate of 300 to a staggering 1000! Another Trumpian whopper?

Trump tweeted today:

Great being with the National Champion Clemson Tigers last night at the White House. Because of the Shutdown I served them massive amounts of Fast Food (I paid), over 1000 hamburgers etc. Within one hour, it was all gone. Great guys and big eaters!

While White House staff told members of the press our junk-food-loving Commander in Chief was pleased with the festive and happy meal, he was disappointed about one thing …

NO LEFTOVERS!

Photo | AP/Susan Walsh

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: burgers, Champion, Clemson Tigers, Donald Trump, fast food, football players, junk food, red meat, white house

Trump Declares All-Out War Against Dems

January 5, 2019 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Donald Trump is adamant about getting his big, beautiful wall. He has threatened to shutdown the government for months or even years. He has warned Nancy Pelosi, and her fellow Democrats, not to fock with him.

“If she and the Dems won’t fund my wall, they better get ready to say hello to my little friend.”

Photo | politicalgarbagechute.com

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Al Pacino, Donald Trump, Donnie Twoburgers, government shutdown, Nancy Pelosi, scarface, shutdown

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